


quiet eyes

by chasingfire



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Angst, College, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Jori (Victorious), Romance, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:54:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22134364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingfire/pseuds/chasingfire
Summary: “So much for staying friends.”“It’s not like you made the effort either.”“I should’ve known you weren’t going to change.”“Yeah, well, we were never even friends to begin with so...”It's been three years since Tori Vega graduated from Hollywood Arts, but also three years since she'd last seen Jade West.One day, she gets invited to a reunion with her high school friends. Jade's hate towards her is as old, and it feels as if nothing has changed. But when the night of the reunion takes an unexpected turn, it sets up the start of something new between the two, and maybe things between them aren't hopeless after all.
Relationships: Tori Vega & Jade West, Tori Vega/Jade West
Comments: 27
Kudos: 236





	1. the reunion

**Author's Note:**

> hi there! ever since i rewatched victorious i just had to write a jori fic. i'm pretty excited about this one, so let's see how it goes. let me know what you think (:

It came out of nowhere. That one text. Tori hadn't seen her high school friends in quite a while, around three years to be exact, well... leaving Andre out of it. She wasn't necessarily happy at being asked to join them all for a small reunion.

All she knew was that Andre was living his best life in LA, sharing some apartment with a producer and did what he loved to do, all day; making music. Robbie still lived at home, filling his days by going to some tech college. And Cat? All Tori knew about Cat was that the redhead was in fact _alive_ , although she honestly had no idea what was going on in her old friend's life.

As for Beck and Jade... Tori had no clue. Not at all. She hadn't heard from the couple ever since they all graduated. She didn't even know if they'd noticed her moving all the way to the south coast of California, away from the choking toxic air that filled the streets of Hollywood and LA, and into a city that was somewhat fresh, less chaotic and less crowded.

Tori became nauseous at the thought of seeing them all again, the realization hitting that Andre was the only person she stayed in contact with. Would they even show up? What would they think of her life now? What would they think of _her_?

She crashed down on her bed with a deep sigh, her arms spreading themselves all over the bed as her phone was out of reach. Staring up at the ceiling, her head began to fill itself with even more questions and possible scenarios.

_'Why didn't you stay in contact with us?'_

_'Oh, you still want to do something with music, but moved away from the city that can realize it for you?'_

She could just imagine the face Jade West would make when she'd told them she was trying to become a singer/songwriter, filling up her nights - ever since she turned twenty one - working part-time at a bar where she poured all kinds of liquor to strangers and was sometimes lucky to be the one performing some live music. It was all enough to pay the rent for her studio apartment while going back and forth between that rat hole, college and work.

It wasn't the life she imagined when she was that joyful, careless and full of dreams, six year old girl. The dream had lived on, but died quickly once she faced the hard reality of the music industry and _life_.

Yeah, Jade West would definitely make some gruesome comment on it. Maybe that's why this reunion was so hard to think about, given the fact that no matter how it'd go, everyone was still going to judge her.

Over thinking was something that was part of the human brain, everyone did it, literally _everyone_... but so was something called 'not being able to say no.' It's why she decided to give in to Andre's text, already preparing herself for their old friend group's get-together.

\--

Tori was about to enter the apartment complex in LA, locking her wreck of a car behind her with a suitcase in her hand. She had managed to park the car tightly between two other cars, as every other spot had already been taken. It had felt like one of those impossible drivers test exercises. She sighed deeply, receiving some weird glances here and there as she looked up the complex. Three stairs - that led to apartment number 51, Andre and his overenthusiastic producer friend Elijah - was all that’s in her way. It had been a month, maybe two, since she’d last been here and Tori wasn’t exactly thrilled to be here again; the city that chocked her, the reason why she was here, all things together... it was something she’d just rather avoid. But everything for friends, right?

_Don’t be so stupid Tori. Everyone knows you’re only doing this because you feel lonely._

She wished it wasn’t true, but it was. She’d even took the weekend off at work to be fully ready for the reunion, that if the worst case scenario would take place, she had some made up story prepared about her life at the coast. One that would feel like less of a disappointment.

After taking such a deep breath that her lungs might explode, Tori walked up the stairs with her baggage dangling behind her. While it took a normal person a minute to climb those three stairs, Tori finally reached the top after five minutes. At moments like these, she felt as dramatic as her sister.

At the end of the hall Andre’s face peeked around the corner, grinning brightly as he saw Tori coming his way, a small suitcase rolling behind her. “Tori. There you are!”

Rolling eyes and a light chuckle later, Tori stepped inside of the apartment, embracing Andre in a hug.

“Yeah,” she breathed out as she pulled away from her friend. She pointed at the street in annoyance. “Don’t _ever_ try to park your car in a space of three feet.”

“Still not a fan of the city, huh?”

“No.”

“It’s the city where all your dreams come true...”

“Don’t remind me.”

It didn’t take long for Andre’s producer to notice the presence of Tori. As brightened, overly positive and exhilarated as always, he came up to them, patting Andre on his back before turning his gaze to Tori. “Vega! Tori! _The_ Tori Vega. Do you want to hear some new beats I’ve been making? I mean, Andre didn’t want me to-”

“I think she’s good man.” Andre chimed in.

Elijah held his hands up in defense, turned around and danced back to the living room.

“Bye Elijah!” Tori waved after him, slowly putting her hand down as she saw the judging look on Andre’s face.

“You don’t have to hide the hate you have towards him in my presence, ya know? I hate him too.”

Tori tried to repress a laugh as she slapped Andre’s arm. “Andre!”

“He’s exhausting, alright?” He exclaimed dramatically. “It’s like every time you come back to visit me, he gets worse.”

“You’ll survive.”

He dramatically fake cried. “But will I though, Tori?”

“Definitely. You’ve put up with him for almost two years already. Now uh, can we go inside?”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course,” he went on, taking a hold of Tori’s suitcase as she followed behind Andre who opened the door to the living room. Just like expected, it hadn’t changed a bit. It still was a man-cave. Music beamed through the other side of the walls, Elijah was busy producing in his studio.

Tori crashed down on the sofa as Andre placed her suitcase somewhere in the corner. He sat down beside her, a concerned look on his face.

“What?”

“You’ve looked better.”

Tori wasn’t really sure how to take the comment. “Gee, Thanks.”

“No. I mean... the last time you were here you looked happier. What’s going on?”

Tori just shrugged at him. “Nothing.”

“Is it Elijah?”

“ _What?_ No,” she started. “I’ve been here many times before, Andre. I can handle him.”

She noticed how Andre studied her face, determined to find out what was going on with her. In a way it made her uncomfortable, especially when a grin appeared on his face as if he’d cracked some code. “Is it the reunion?”

She wasn’t even sure if he’d heard her answer.

“What?”

“Yes!” she said louder this time, burying her face into her hands and mumbling on. “I haven’t seen them in almost three years.”

“Which is why it’s good to catch up! Beck moved away too, ya know? Everyone’s been living their own lives, it won’t hurt to bring back some memories.”

That caught Tori’s attention, her eyes shooting up at Andre. “Beck moved away? What? When?”

“Around a year ago. He moved to San Francisco with his parents. I thought you knew?”

“Clearly I didn’t,” she scoffed, confusion written all over her. “What about him and Jade?”

“It’s not like you tried to keep in contact with them either, Tori,” he said, receiving a dead glare from his friend before continuing. “Since Jade’s still living up at the hills, they tried to maintain a long distance relationship but... things didn’t work out.”

It didn’t come as a surprise to Tori, given the plenty amount of times the two decided to call quits. They’d always get back together though, but distance had been a ripple in the water.

“What about you? Are you seeing someone?”

“No... I mean, yes. But you know what happens after I do.”

Andre knew about Tori and her inability to commit these days. He knew about the loneliness she felt, but he also knew that Tori didn’t want it any other way. Hooking up, ghosting them and repeat the cycle over and over again, it’s what she’d been doing for the past year. It had mostly been girls she met at the bar she worked at.

“Commitment seems like a disease to you. Maybe you should try to cure it.”

Tori shook her head at his attempt on some sort of metaphor. “Says the one who hasn’t been seeing anyone in over two years.”

“What can I say?” he said, flexing his jacket. “I’m focused on my music.”

“So am I...”

“Oh right, the live shows at the bar you work at.”

“It’s _something,_ I’ll get there someday.”

“That’s my girl.” Andre squeezed his arms around her into a tight hug, Tori barely being able to breathe. “Now let’s get ready for tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“Dinner at Nozu. Reunion. Your friends from Hollywood Arts? I’m one of them, remember?”

“I didn’t know it was tonight, can we please-”

“Nope. Nah. No excuses, we’re doing this. It’ll be good for you.”

“Fine.”

\--

Deciding to take Andre’s car and leaving Elijah - who still hadn’t left the studio before they left - behind, they were finally on their way to Nozu. Nerves filling up Tori’s body the closer they got to the sushi restaurant.

The words left her mouth before she realized it. “I’m scared of Jade’s reaction.”

Andre averted his gaze from the road to Tori and frowned at her. “What reaction?”

She shrugged in the passengers seat, looking right ahead of her as streetlights lightened up the darkness. “She’s always been the one to judge. She never saw me as a friend, maybe kinda before we graduated, but I haven’t heard from her since. I always took the effort, you know? And when I pass it to her, she just... forgets that I exist?”

“Sounds to me like you just miss her.”

“I don’t-” A sigh left her body before she spoke up again. “How can I miss someone who never even cared for me?”

“Come on, Tori. We’re all mature now. It’s not like she’s going to act like the devil and make all sorts of mean comments on your life, she’s probably changed. We all have.”

She nodded in response, not quite sure if she believed Andre’s words. But whatever was going to happen, there was one thing for sure; a sushi reunion at Nozu.

It took them half an hour to get through the LA traffic and a few minutes more to get to the sushi restaurant. Once they finally arrived, Tori made her way to step out of the vehicle, straightening her black lace dress before looking up at Andre who had also dressed up nicely. “How do I look?”

He had his hands folded in front of him as his eyes studied Tori, smiling up at her after doing so. “Perfect.”

She put a hand over her heart. “Aw.”

“Let’s go,” Andre smiled back at her, motioning her to follow him.

It was a Friday night, one of the busiest days of the week for most restaurants. Tori and Andre looked around in search for their friends, shoving past a few people on the way. It wasn’t until they heard a high pitched voice, that they finally found the table their friends were seated at.

“Tori! Andre!”

Cat was the first to throw her arms around Tori, followed by Robbie who had finally got rid of Rex, it seemed. Even Beck was there all the way from San Francisco, kissing her cheek after pulling away from a hug.

“It’s good to see you.”

Tori awkwardly rubbed his arm as she responded. “You too.”

He then went back to the table, leaving the one and only Jade West in front of her. She hadn’t changed much. Yeah, alright, she looked more mature, the only piercing left on her - as far as Tori could see - was a nose ring. Her dark hair was all the way up in a bun. Tori could still see the teal highlights, a few strands of hair falling to the side of her face. A face that was still mysterious and somewhat sinister to her, or maybe it was just the dark use of make up on Jade’s face.

“You done staring at me, Vega?”

“I wasn’t staring!”

“ _I wasn’t staring!_ ” Jade mimicked in the Sweet Sally Peaches voice she used to torment her with at Hollywood Arts.

“I do _not_ talk like that!”

“Sure you don’t.”

“And I wasn’t staring...”

“Sure you weren’t.”

“I really wasn’t!” Tori scoffed at the girl in front of her. “Now can we hug and get this over with?”

“I’m not hugging you.”

“So much for _staying friends_.”

“It’s not like you made the effort either.”

“I should’ve known you weren’t going to change.”

“Yeah, well, we were never even friends to begin with so...”

“Girls! Stop arguing over there and come join us,” Andre’s voice sounded from behind them.

Tori broke off the eye contact with Jade and walked over to Andre, sitting down right beside him as Jade sat next to Cat, right across from her. Beck and Robbie were stuck in the middle of the booth, both participating in a deep ongoing conversation.

“Yay! We’re all here!” Cat squealed from beside Jade. That always so bright expression covering her face.

“Yeah, it’s been a while...” Tori trailed off, meeting the eyes of the girl in front of her.

If looks could kill, Tori would have surely - along with the other three hundred times Jade had scolded at her in the past - been found dead.

She averted her gaze towards the others, listening to them catching up on memories from their high school phase. All this time she could feel Jade’s eyes burn right through her. She came to the conclusion that this was going to be a _very_ long night.

A night she couldn’t wait for to be over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading. i'd appreciate your opinions, comments and kudos. until the next one!


	2. an unexpected turn of events

It was about a small hour later when everyone had finished their sushi, the group switching to drinks after. Tori had been listening to everyone going on about their lives. How everyone had something tremendous to inform her with. Robbie had asked a girl out on a date and, to everyone’s surprise, she said yes. Beck was having the best time in San Francisco while picking up some small roles in TV shows and movies. As for Cat... well she had started her own YouTube channel with vlogs, covers and weird stories about her brother. Her channel had an impressive amount of 40.000 subscribers already. And as old times, Cat just wouldn’t shut up about it.

Tori took a glance at Jade every once in a while, noticing that the girl was awfully quiet. The only times she ever said something were answers to questions, not to mention her replies were cold... _extremely_ cold. Carefully not to get on Jade’s nerves - even more - Tori decided to let it be and continued to listen to the redhead.

“One time, on vacation, my brother followed a man that looked like Dr. Phil and hid in his house... ” she started to giggle loudly and Tori found herself having flashbacks to all the times Cat had shared something crazy about her brother.

Everyone looked at Cat in confusion, Andre asking the question that was on everyone’s mind. “ _Why_ would he do that?”

“I don’t know,” Cat shrugged. “The man hit him with a frying pan. He wasn’t Dr. Phil.”

“Oh yeah, I remember.”

Jade’s sudden interaction with the girl startled Tori. Once coming back to reality, she found herself participating in the conversation.

“How come I didn’t know?”

“Maybe it’s because you moved away without telling any of us and never even made an attempt at letting us _know_ ,”Jade spoke coldly, flashing the girl in front of her an annoyed fake smile.

“She probably had her reasons...”

“Shut up, Beck.”

Robbie opened his mouth to say something, but once he saw the glare Jade gave him, he immediately pressed his lips together again.

Tori knew what was coming. It was exactly how she imagined it. The cold and heavy judgement of Jade West was just a few seconds away from arriving.

“So, Vega. What _are_ you doing over there at the coast?”

All eyes were on Tori as she was dead silent, fearing what would happen next. It was some miracle of God when Andre’s phone suddenly began ringing. He immediately picked it up, motioning for everyone to be quiet.

“Ey man.”

“ _What?!_ Really? What time do they want me there?”

He took a quick glance at his watch before answering the person on the other end of the line. “40 minutes? Yeah, of course. I’ll be there. See ya.”

Tori watched as her friend dropped his phone on the table, letting out some shout of victory and excitement. A bright smile covered his face as he grabbed her shoulders. “Elijah just called me. The support act of that R&B duo, ya know, _dvsn_? Well, they canceled the LA show tonight and they want _me_ to replace them.”

A genuine squeal of happiness left Tori’s mouth as she threw her arms around him, pulling away shortly after and motioning for him to hurry. “Andre, that’s amazing! Now what are you waiting for? Go!”

He quickly got up, receiving all kinds of support from the rest of the group as he walked away. A frown appeared on Tori’s face when he returned a few seconds later, seeming to have forgotten something. “I just remembered that I drove you here. Will you get back to my apartment safely? Should I get you a cab? Or can you stay at your parents’ place for the night?”

Jade rolled her eyes at them, judgement-ready. “What are you? Her m-”

“No. No, it’s okay,” Tori waved it off, ignoring Jade’s comment. “I’ll figure something out. I’ll text you. Now hurry before you won’t make it on time.”

“Okay good. Good,” he smiled back at her, patting her head once before making his way out. “See you guys!”

An awkward silence filled the place after he left. Tori looked around her uncomfortably, not really knowing what to say to the people she had last seen three years ago.

In the corner of her eye, Tori noticed Jade’s gaze on her, chin resting in her palm.

“So... where were we?”

Tori immediately averted her eyes to the girl in front of her. All she could see was the grin that was plastered on Jade’s face. “What?”

“I asked you a question before Andre-”

“Jade, why won’t you just let her be?”

“I’m not talking to you, Beck,” she stated, not once looking away from Tori. “So? What are you up to over there?”

“I uh...” Tori stuttered, glancing over to a waiter passing by with some shots. “Can we have some here?”

It was all just enough to buy her some time to come up with a story that wouldn’t make it seem like she was the unhappiest she’d been in her life so far, that she was struggling to keep herself together over there, that she felt lonely, that she couldn’t commit and that she’d never see herself succeeding in the music industry.

She threw a shot down her throat, coughing slightly afterwards as it burnt. It gave her just enough courage to finally give an answer to Jade’s question. “I’m doing good over there. Going to college, working on my own music, having my own place, feeling happy and free... you know? Everything’s great.”

“Well, I think you’re lying.”

Tori looked at Jade in disbelief. She hated the way that the girl could see through everything and everyone. “What? No, I’m not.”

“Then why are you all nervous and tightened up about it?”

“I am _not_ all nervous and tightened...” Tori trailed off, realizing that her high school friends were all looking at her with looks of disapproval. “You know what? I’m just gonna use the restroom.”

She excused herself quickly before practically running over to the restroom, shoving past a few people along the way. Once she entered the place, she instantly shut the door behind her, exhaling deeply. _Where was Andre when you needed him?_

Yeah, of course. It wasn’t like she had some illness with a short amount of time left on this planet. She didn’t commit a crime, nor did she do anything that was illegal... as far as she knew. No, it was her fear of being judged. It was her fear of admitting the way she felt, the way she lived and what it had done to her. She was scared of everything that was behind her and everything that was yet to come.

Telling them about the reason why she left the city was even more of an obstacle. What would she tell them? _I left because home didn’t feel like home anymore? I left because every time I entered that god damned city I’d be reminded of how I wasn’t good enough to make it there?_

It wasn’t for nothing that the biggest music college in the city had rejected her, right? It’d be perfect; going to college in the city that made dreams come true, developing a music career, performing, writing, being close to her friends, her family and living her best life.

Well it wasn’t. Because that dream didn’t become reality.

All she knew was that she hated LA, it had made her the most insecure she’d ever been, it had made her anxious, it had made her feel as if she couldn’t breathe. Now she was alone, away from everyone she once cared for, struggling to make it through college, struggling to pay the rent, struggling to maintain a healthy lifestyle. She had realized it, in fact, was _unhealthy_ ; having no sleep at night, being all over somebody, only to be over somebody else the next weekend, shutting out everyone around her, never letting anyone in. She didn’t even make any friends in the time she’d settled there. She lived invisibly until one day she’d just... _break_.

Coming back to her senses, Tori noticed that the tears had fallen onto her dress, had been rolling down her face this entire time and that she was sitting in a space of approximately one square meter. Looking into the mirror after standing up, didn’t really make her feel any better, as it was smeared all over her face.

While looking like some raccoon who had just let itself go wild in the trash, she stumbled out of the restroom and occupied an empty spot at the bar, as far away as possible from her old friends.

“You look like you could use a drink,” the bartender said, offering her another shot.

“Thanks,” Tori sighed, throwing it down her throat in one move. She kept the shots going while glancing over to the table where only Beck, Robbie and Jade were still sitting at, talking to the bartender every few minutes while doing so. It was after quite some drinks, six to ten maybe, that she lost all feelings of any embarrassment or shame and made her way over to the three.

Jade, being the one with her back towards Tori, was the only one to look up in surprise as she made her way to stand next to the table.

“There you are! We thought you left?” Robbie commented from next to Beck.

“I to...o-old you gu...uys I was going to the... _the_?” Tori slurred, holding up a finger in front of her face as she tried to come up with the right word. Once she did, she let out a cheerful ‘ah.’ “Restroom.”

“That was literally forty-five minutes ago, Vega.”

Tori flashed the girl a glare and pointed a finger at her. “Y-You’re meaaaan.”

“I think she’s drunk,” Beck whispered towards Jade, who in her turn, rolled her eyes in annoyance.

“No shit.” she replied, looking up at Tori who was still failing miserably at looking angry. “Vega, can you stay at your parents’ place for the night?”

“I don’t think they’d want her at home like _this_...” Robbie chimed in, switching glances between his friends.

“Yeah well,” Jade sighed. “Can’t she stay at your place for the night then? We obviously, no matter how much I dislike Vega, can’t let her take a cab to Andre’s place like this.”

Jade felt a poke at her cheek, facing the now sad looking Tori with a pout on her face. “You dislike m-me?”

“ _Fucking hell_ ,” she groaned loudly, raising a brow at Robbie to get an answer out of him.

And she succeeded. “I-I can’t. Beck is already staying with me for the weekend. We don’t really have the room to take in someone else.”

It then occurred to Jade that there was only one option left...

 _Tori had to stay at her place._

She muttered something under her breath, not quite sure if Robbie or Beck heard it.

“What?”

 _They clearly didn’t._

“ _I said_ ,” she scolded, raising her voice. “Tori can stay at my place. I’ll call my mom to pick us up.”

“Well,” Beck spoke brightly, standing up from the table. “Then that’s settled. I’ll pay for the dinner... and your drinks.” He pointed at Tori who gave him a pat on the back of his head in return.

Once Beck returned, they all got their stuff and made their way to leave the place. Jade dragged Tori with her as she held her phone to her ear, trying to reach her mom.

_“Jade?”_

“Mom. Can you come pick me up at Nozu? And uh, can my friend stay the night? She doesn’t have anywhere else to go...”

Meanwhile, Robbie and Beck said their goodbyes as they made their way to Robbie’s car. Tori, all this time, was clinging on to Jade like a three year old would cling on to their mother.

_“Yes, okay. Only this one time, you hear me?”_

_“_ Yeah that’s fine, mom. Can you get here now? She’s being annoying and drunk.”

_“You didn’t tell me she was d-”_

“For fuck’s sake mom, just get here. Take Roman with you or something, I don’t know.”

_“Watch your language, Jade West. And I’ll be there in ten.”_

“Ok. Bye.”

She ended the call quickly, pulling herself away from Tori as she went to sit down on the sidewalk of the parking lot. Tori just stood there, looking down at Jade.

“Who’s Roman?”

Jade closed her eyes at hearing the brunette’s voice once again and took in a deep breath to stay calm, before answering the question. “My brother.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Jade sighed, looking right ahead of her as she mimicked Tori. “ _Oh_.”

Aside from the light humming that came from Tori, it was way more quiet at night, than day, around Nozu. Some cars passing by every few minutes, the last guests leaving the place or leaving the parking lot.

It was a little more than ten minutes later when a black jeep drove into the parking lot, stopping right in front of the two girls. Jade stood up, grabbing Tori’s arm once she did and dragged her into the backseat of the car. Jade herself went to sit next to Tori, noticing her mom in the driver’s seat and her brother in the passenger’s seat.

The drive back home was quiet as the first few minutes passed by. Jade’s mom stole a glance at her daughter and her daughter’s friend in the front mirror a few times. Jade enjoyed the silence, until her brother turned to her, switching his eyes between his sister and a now sleeping Tori, before whispering something.

“What happened?”

“I don’t even know. She’s just drunk.”

“Shouldn’t you look out for your friends?”

“She’s not my _friend_ ,” Jade spat back at him angrily.

Roman held his hands up in defense. “Fine. But you told mom-”

“Would you leave someone you know behind while they are drunk, have to travel back alone and find their way in one of the biggest cities in the world? No Roman, I couldn’t get it over my heart if something happened to her.”

“So you _do_ care?”

Jade shook her head at him and let out a light chuckle. “I hate you sometimes.”

When they finally arrived at the house, Jade stepped out of the vehicle and walked over to Tori’s side, opening up the door. “Vega?”

She tried to nudge the girl’s shoulder a few times, but found no luck as Tori just kept on sleeping. With a deep sigh she called out for her brother who was already almost inside. He turned around though, and decided to help his sister.

“You get her left side, I’ll do the right side,” she mumbled to him, draping one of Tori’s arms over her shoulder as her brother copied the movements and they slowly made their way inside the house.

“Where do we let her sleep?” Roman asked her as soon as they entered the hallway.

Jade froze and took some time to think. Her bedroom or the sofa in the living room? Tori had never even been here before, and waking up to a nosy mother asking thousands of questions, didn’t sound like something someone with a hangover would enjoy. As much as she didn’t want Tori to see her bedroom, sleep in her bed or be here _at all_ , she decided this would be the best option.

“I’ll take her to my room.”

“Good,” her brother said, letting go of Tori and entering the living room, leaving the two behind.

“Roman!” Jade groaned after him, but he was already gone.

It was right in that moment when Jade, who still had Tori’s arm draped around her, noticed that the brunette was awake. She wasn’t a minute ago, so it must have just happened.

Jade slowly let go of Tori as the girl blinked a few times, glancing around the hallway before meeting the eyes of the girl in front of her. “Where are we?”

“My house.”

“Why?”

“Because, _Tori_ , I couldn’t let you leave in this state.”

“Oh.” Tori fumbled with her fingers a little before asking yet another question, still clearly drunk. “S-So... what now?”

“You’re gonna sleep,” Jade said, pointing upstairs. “I’ll help you get there.”

Jade silently walked behind Tori as the girl walked up the stairs, almost tripping along the way, but luckily Jade was there to help her up. Once upstairs, she dragged Tori into her room and placed her on the bed. It was like she was taking care of a little child and she absolutely hated it.

She quickly went through her closet and found some joggers and a shirt for Tori to wear. She threw them at the girl on the bed, who managed to catch them, looking up at her in confusion.

“You want to sleep in a dress?” Jade commented, narrowing her eyes at the girl.

“Oh yeah, no. I uh...”

“I’ll let you change. Right behind the door if you need me.”

Jade left the room and closed the door behind her, only to hear Tori’s voice two minutes later, calling for her.

Jade immediately opened the door as she noticed how Tori was still all dressed up, meeting Jade’s eyes in an uncomfortable way. “Could you h-help me get uh... get out of this dress?”

Deciding not to think about it, Jade walked over to her and softly pushed away the brunette’s locks that covered the zipper. As she slowly started to move the zipper down, Jade could feel herself heating up. It was like some feeling of tension, _no_ , it felt like she was _enjoying_ this. Like she couldn’t help but feel some sensation the more she looked at the girl, the more skin that got exposed and the more she thought about it all.

_Nope. No. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening._

“ _Shit_ ,” Jade breathed out, quickly turning around and walking towards the door. Before closing the door and without looking back, she spoke up once more. “I’ll get you some make up wipes once you’re ready.”

She made her way over to the bathroom, grabbed herself some make up wipes and tried to avoid every possible thought at the scene that just took place. After a few minutes she went back to her room, finding Tori already laying under the covers on her bed.

Jade made her way towards the bed, sitting right beside Tori. She handed her the make up wipes and watched as the drunk girl began to clean her face. After an amount of five wipes, Tori had finally decided that her face was free from make up, handing the now dirty wipes back to Jade. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” Jade said, throwing the wipes in the trashcan that was in the corner. She then made her way to the door and moved to turn of the light. But, _of course_ , Tori had to speak up again.

“Jade?”

“Vega.”

“Come sit back here,” Tori pouted at her, patting the spot beside her on the edge of the bed.

Jade closed her eyes in frustration, let out an inwards sigh and then gave in to Tori’s plead. Once she occupied the spot, she looked down at Tori, who had the covers all the way up to her chin. For some unexplainable reason, Jade thought it was... from certain angels maybe, a tiny bit adorable. “What’s up?”

“Do you hate me?”

The question caught her by surprise, but she still tried to act tough. “I mean... kinda.”

“Why?”

Because Tori probably wouldn’t remember any of it the next morning, Jade found herself dropping the tough act and revealed the truth to the girl. “Don’t worry, Vega. I don’t hate you. I mean, I did when you first entered Hollywood Arts, but you changed my mind throughout the years.”

“How come?”

It seemed as if Tori wasn’t even in a drunken state right now, as if Jade was just having a normal conversation with her. Jade knew, though, that not everything was what it seemed and Tori was certainly far gone.

However, she still went along with it and kept the conversation going. “You just... you made the effort. No matter how much shit I put you through, you were always kind. You were there to help me, you were a _friend._ The last two years before graduation I even found myself thinking that you were pretty and talented.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

“Yeah.”

“You think I’m talented?”

“Yeah, Vega.”

“Then why were you so mean to me tonight?”

“Because...” Jade sighed, probably regretting saying any of this in the morning, knowing in the back of her mind, there was a small amount of chance that Tori _would_ remember this conversation. “You left without letting me know. I had to hear it from Andre. I... I thought we had become close enough for you to let me know. I guess I felt disappointed, hurt even.”

Tori looked at her with a guilty expression. “Oh god. Jade... I’m _so_ sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Jade whispered, flashing the girl a small smile. “You should get some sleep.”

Tori nodded at her and Jade didn’t even know why it happened, but she grabbed Tori’s hand and gave it a little squeeze. “Goodnight, Vega.”

Jade grabbed a pillow and thick blanket from the other side of the bed, dragging it with her as she moved to the door. Sleeping on the sofa wasn't what she had planned for the night, but if it meant preventing anything bad happening to someone she, which she hated to admit, cared for, well then she'd take it. Sneaking one last glance at Tori, before silently closing the door behind her, she could hear a quiet whisper coming from the room.

“Goodnight, Jade.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was so much fun to write. let me know if you enjoyed it! also, if anyone has any suggestions on how to continue this story or an idea for a further chapter, just comment and i'll see what i can do. i'd appreciate the kudos and comments. thank you for reading!


	3. new feelings

Tori woke up with a throbbing and stabbing headache, wondering where the hell she was and what happened to her the night before, because to her, it was all a complete _blackout_. Or at least, that’s what she thought it was before realizing she was having a hangover.

Sitting upright and softly rubbing her forehead, the brunette noticed that she was somewhere she hadn’t been before. The bedroom was dark... but with some warm undertones. It seemed creative and quite sinister, but still unfamiliar. One thing shot through her mind; she had a one-night stand and this was the room of the person she slept with last night. There was _no other_ explanation.

_But who the hell was it?_

Panic shot through her when she heard footsteps. Moments later she saw how the door handle moved down silently and the door swung open, only for Jade West to show up in the doorway. “J-Jade?”

The girl looked up at her with an unbothered and annoyed glance. “Vega.”

Tori watched as Jade walked into the room, dressed in all black - as always - and threw a pillow and blanket on the bed.

Jade crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, before facing Tori. “What’s up, Vega?”

Tori’s finger pointed at the empty spot on the bed next to her and then at Jade, frowning in confusion. “Did we...”

“Did we what?”

“You know...”

“I have no-” Then the realization hit Jade. “ _God, no_. Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know! Why am I even here?”

“Because...” Jade started as she went through her closet, pulling out the only clothes with some color she had, and threw them at Tori, who looked even more confused. “We had that reunion last night. Andre went early to play some gig, you were extremely drunk and I didn’t want you to go back to the city all alone. No one had a place for you to stay, except for me. _That’s_ why you’re here. Don’t make a big deal out of it, okay?”

Tori felt her face soften at that. “You took care of me?”

“ _I said_ ,” Jade gritted through her teeth. “Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

“You’ll never change, huh?”

“Why would I?”

“Because you’re way more likeable when you’re being nice.”

“I’m not _nice_ ,” Jade scoffed at the brunette, making her way to the door. “Get dressed. I’m downstairs with my mom and brother, you can join us for breakfast.”

And before Tori could even say something, the door slammed shut.

\--

It was about fifteen minutes later when Tori made her way downstairs. A quiet yawn escaped her mouth as she entered the kitchen that had a dining table attached to it around the corner. It didn’t take long for the woman behind the kitchenette to notice her and Tori was met with an almost exact replica of Jade West, the woman was older and had some softer features, but it was _very_ clear where her daughter had her looks from.

“Ah!” The woman said as she stopped what she was doing, extending a hand for Tori to shake. “I’m Laurie. Jade’s mother.”

Tori reciprocated the gesture and shook the woman’s hand. “Tori Vega. Nice to meet you.”

Laurie flashed her a small smile and pointed at the dining table where Jade and her brother where seated at. Tori hoped that she wasn’t wrong about the boy being Jade’s brother. “You can take a seat. Breakfast will be ready in a bit.”

As Tori neared the table, Jade looked up from her phone and her brother turned around to face the girl he met last night. His hair was dark, just like his eyes, but Tori could still tell that he and his sister were related. Suddenly, she remembered. “Roman, right?”

He nodded and chuckled lightly. “That’s me.”

“That’s one of the only things I remember. Guess you made quite some impact on me,” Tori chuckled back at him as she sat down next to Jade, who stared at her in disgust.

“Were you just flirting with my sixteen year-old brother, Vega?”

“Almost seventeen,” Roman chimed in, looking at the two innocently.

“Still a minor,” Jade hissed back at him, before turning her gaze back to Tori.

“I wasn’t flirting with him! In fact, I’m not even really in...”

“You’re not even really _what_?”

Tori rubbed at her forehead as the throbbing headache only got worse. _Damn you, stress_.

“Vega?”

Tori knew that if she wasn’t going to tell Jade now, the girl would push her the whole entire day until she _did_ tell her. It’s why she decided to just throw it out into the open. “I’m not even really into guys anymore.”

Jade looked quite taken aback by the statement and Tori wondered why, but let the girl process it and leave it be.

“So... you’re gay?”

“I mean...” Tori shrugged at Jade. “I guess.”

“ _What the fuck_ ,” Jade breathed out in disbelief as she looked away.

Before Tori could explain it further, Jade’s mother walked in with a plate full of breakfast and placed it on the table before sitting down next to her son. She handed Tori a glass of water and passed her a plate with an egg and some oatmeal. “Water, eggs and oatmeal; the perfect cure for a hangover.”

Tori took it in hesitation. “Uh, thank you.”

“It’s okay,” Laurie nodded at the plate. “I’ve made it for Jade several times when she was having one.”

“It helps,” Jade agreed with her mom, flashing the girl beside her a wink.

Tori tried to ignore all the things she felt when Jade winked at her and focused on eating the _hangover cure_ to make that horrible headache vanish once and for all. A few minutes of silence followed as everyone ate their breakfast and Jade was already on her second cup of coffee.

As Laurie took a sip from her tea, she decided to break the silence with a quite straight forward question. “I heard you kids talk about it earlier and I had to bring it up. Who’s... _gay_?”

Tori and Jade both choked on their drinks at the question, the brunette trying to get this over with quickly once she recovered. “I am.”

She quickly looked beside her and noticed Jade mouthing a big “ _don’t”_ at her. Tori went through with it though, probably regretting it later.

“Oh... I remember Jade telling me all about how you always tried to steal her boyfriend.”

“Well, that was a long time ago. And I never tried to steal your daughter’s _ex_ -boyfriend.”

“Then what _did_ you try to do?”

“Mom...” Roman started from beside his mother, face palming himself as she ignored his plead.

“No, Roman.” She turned her gaze back to Tori. “Did you trick my daughter into taking you home with her? Sleeping with her?”

“I slept on the couch, mom. And I don’t like her that way,” Jade sighed from beside Tori.

“See, Miss.” Tori decided to just get the woman to shut the hell up. “Your daughter took me here because she was looking out for me, because we’re _friends_. I don’t see the issue here and neither should you. Or do you have something against _gay people_?”

“No. No, of course not,” Laurie spoke in defense. “I’m just looking out for my daughter. She’s been through enough already, I wouldn’t want her to...”

“Like girls?” Roman raised a brow at his mother. “It’s the 21st century, mom. Jade can like girls, I could like boys, Tori can like girls, even you could. It’s normal, okay? People can realize they’re gay, bi or whatever, at any given point in their lives. Now can we _please_ stop talking about this?”

“Amen.” Jade groaned, standing up from behind the table and facing her mom. “This is why I never take anyone home. You’re embarrassing. Even dad wouldn’t say shit like this.”

Tori watched anxiously as Laurie stood up and pointed a finger at Jade. “Watch your tone, young lady. And don’t you dare bring up your father, he’s never cared for you.”

“Good one,” Jade scoffed at her mother. “I’m starting to think he cares more for Roman and I than you ever have.”

“I’ve raised you two, all on my own!”

“You forgot to bring up all the weekends Roman and I spend at dad’s. You always act like he left us, but he’s still here and he’ll always be, even with Amanda in his life now.”

“Don’t start about that whore of a-”

“Hey! That’s enough!” Roman shouted at the two, glaring angrily at his mother. “We’re not doing this now. Tori’s still here. You’re giving the impression that she’s not welcome here and you’re acting like a complete fool. I’m done with you fighting over the stupidest things, I really am.”

Tori smiled sadly at the attempt of him to make her feel less of a burden here, but that quickly changed once Laurie pointed upstairs, Roman walking away as he shook his head in disbelief. Tori took it as the perfect moment to make her way out of the kitchen. She slipped into the living room, still hearing the two loud and clear, but out of sight.

“Go,” Laurie scolded after Roman, before carelessly going off at Jade. “You’re going to call your father and tell him you’re staying with him from now on. I don’t want you here for a while.”

“But mom...” Jade’s voice turned into a plead, her voice trembling.

“No, Jade. You think your father is so much better? Then stay with him. But don’t come back for me when you want me to pick you and a drunk friend up at night, or whatever the hell you’re doing. Pack your stuff and go. I don’t want you back here until you’ve realized your wrongs and apologized for them.”

“I hate you.”

Just then, Tori’s phone began buzzing. “ _Shit_.”

She quickly checked the caller id, noticing it was Andre who was calling her. She quickly picked up and heard his voice on the other end of the line.

_“Tori! How are you doing? Where are you? I just woke up and you’re still not back.”_

“Yeah, well...” Tori whispered, sneaking a peek behind her to make sure no one was there as she heard Jade and her mother still fighting. “I got drunk after you left and long story short, Jade took me to her house.”

_“Jade?!”_

“I’ll tell you all about it later but... her mom is fighting with her and I feel like it’s my fault and god, Andre, her mom is such a black and white thinking, stupid soccer mom.”

She heard Andre snort at the other end of the line. _“I can’t believe you just said that out loud. But all things aside, what are they fighting about?"_

“Her parents’ divorce, her mother is so mad at her she wants Jade to leave and stay with her dad.”

_“Oh man... that’s awful. Maybe you could try to take her mind off things today, like... do something fun together? It’s Saturday and you’ll have to be back home on Monday, so you have plenty of time.”_

“She literally hates my guts, Andre...”

_“You and I both know she needs someone right now. Just give it a try.”_

“Fine,” Tori felt a sigh leave her body. “I’ll text you when I get back. We’ll talk about everything later.”

_“I’m proud of you. Now go and help her. See ya.”_

“You’re the best. Bye, Andre.”

Tori ended the call and smiled softly as Andre’s words roamed around her head. He was right, Jade had helped her last night, the least she could do now was return the favor.

“Who were you calling?”

Tori startled at the voice and turned around, facing a quite sad looking Jade, who was trying her best to keep her shit together. “Uh, Andre.”

“Do you want me to drive you back to his place?” the girl offered, meeting Tori’s eyes.

_Now go and help her._

“Actually...” she trailed off, walking up closer beside Jade and nudging the girl’s shoulder. “We could do something fun together.”

Jade turned to face her and raised a brow. “Something fun? With _you_? I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Let me prove it to you then.”

It took Jade a few seconds, but she decided to give in. “Fine.”

“Am I seeing a tiny hint of a smile on Jade West's face there?” Tori teased, noticing that the small smile on the girl’s face disappeared as soon as it had appeared.

“Shut up, Vega.” Jade rolled her eyes at Tori, walking away from her. “Wait here. I’m going to pack my stuff and talk to Roman.”

It was a few minutes later when Jade returned with a duffel bag full of clothes, probably, and pointed her car keys at the hall. “You coming?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Don’t ever say that again,” Jade told her, opening the front door and closing it once Tori was also out of the house. They walked over to the carport where Jade unlocked the gray blueish Cadillac Deville, throwing the duffel bag in the trunk.

Tori just stood there, waiting for Jade to tell her to get in. Once Jade noticed that, she sighed deeply, motioning for Tori to get in. “Take a seat.”

Once they were both seated - covered with a safety belt and drive-ready - Jade started the car, drove it out of the carport and onto the road. After a few minutes of listening to the radio and humming along to the music, Jade fired a question at the girl beside her.

“So, what are we going to do?”

“I’ll navigate you to it.”

“I hate surprises.”

“I don’t care.”

“Turn left.”

“What if I want to go right?”

“Just turn left here!”

After a lot of bickering and arguments, the two finally arrived at Tori’s surprise destination. Once Jade realized where they were, she looked at the girl in confusion. “What the hell are we doing at a bowling center?”

“Bowling, duh.”

Jade shook her head, closed her eyes and took a deep breath before responding. “I’ll tolerate this _only_ because you’re trying to be nice.”

Tori giggled in excitement and dragged Jade inside, walking up to the counter and arranging them one of the alleys. Jade followed behind the brunette in fresh reluctance as they put on their bowling shoes and made their way to where it’d all take place.

Jade made her way to the device that kept up their scores and filled in their names. “Let’s go with... Vega and West.”

“Why not our first names?”

“Because I like it better this way.”

“Are you saying you hate my name?”

“No,” Jade laughed lightly. “Just throw the damn ball, Vega.”

Jade watched and watched as Tori would throw every ball with an extreme amount of excitement, making all sorts of weird dance celebrations when she’d throw a strike or a spare, and screaming in disappointment when she’d throw one in the gutter. Normally, Tori’s behaviour would, for some reason, get on her nerves... like _a lot_. But today she found herself liking it, liking the way the girl put her all in it, liking how Tori supported her every time it was her turn and liking it when other people would look their way when she did so. Jade enjoyed it all too much.

When Jade threw yet another ball in the gutter and picked up another ball for her second turn, she heard Tori coming up from behind her.

Jade froze when she felt Tori’s hand on her arm, quickly meeting the girl’s eyes. “Vega... what are you _doing_?”

Jade noticed how Tori completely ignored her question and felt how the girl positioned her elbow into the right place. The brunette moved to stand behind her, so close that they almost touched. Tori’s hands trailed down her back until they landed on her hips. Jade didn’t know why it happened, but she closed her eyes underneath the touch as nerves flowed through her entire body.

“See,” she felt Tori’s breath near her ear. “That’s the right position.”

And before Jade could process it all, Tori had moved away from her, leaving her to throw the ball down the alley. Hoping not to fuck it up, Jade threw the ball as Tori instructed her to do and she miraculously threw a strike, or well... a spare, since it was already her second turn.

“She did it! Jade West throws a strike and the crowd goes _wiiiiild_ ,” Tori shouted as she made a few pirouettes.

Jade laughed in embarrassment as everyone looked at them. “Shut up, Vega.”

An hour later, the two were finally done bowling and got back into Jade’s car. As Jade drove out of the parking lot, she felt the brunette’s eyes on her. “Quit staring.”

“I’m not staring,” Tori shot back, chuckling lightly as she turned her gaze to the road ahead of her. “Did you have fun?”

“I guess,” Jade replied with a hint of a smirk lingering on her face.

“You _so_ did.”

Jade hated to admit it, so she tried to changed the subject. “It’s not that late yet, what else do you wanna do?”

“I don’t know. You pick something.”

“I’m bad at that, Vega.”

“I know you can think of _something_.”

“Fine,” Jade sighed, finally having some idea popping up in her mind. It would definitely be something the girl beside her would like, or well... she hoped so.

“I’m sorry about your mother.”

“Stop talking.”

It was quite a drive. Not a normal drive, no, it was a drive full of awkward silences mixed with off key singing and humming, until Jade finally arrived at the place where she’d last been with Beck. Expecting a sting in her heart, Jade felt relieved when it didn’t happen. It meant she was over him, it meant that she could be here without thinking about him, it meant she had let him go.

Tori looked over at her with a questioning expression. “Where are we and why do you keep on staring ahead like some creep?”

“Huh what?” Jade realized she had completely zoned out and stepped out of the car. Once Tori did the same, she pointed to a higher point up some giant hill. “ _That’s_ where we’re going.”

Deciding not to ask any questions about it, Tori walked up the hill and followed Jade until the girl, after what felt like an eternity, finally came to a stop. Tori still didn’t know what the hell they were doing here. “Okay, but why are we-”

“Turn around.”

Jade watched as Tori took in what she saw. It had always been Jade’s favourite view, looking out over the Hollywood Hills and part of the LA state. Coming back here gave her a nostalgic feeling, it felt like years ago, but the view hadn’t changed one bit.

“What do you think?” she asked, switching her gaze between the view and Tori.

“It’s... beautiful.”

Jade felt the corners of her mouth curl up into a smile and sat down on the ground beneath, patting the spot right beside her. “Come sit here.”

Moments later, Tori sat down beside her, knees up to her chest as she stared right ahead of her. Jade decided to do the same. They quietly sat there, taking in everything their eyes witnessed.

“Why did you leave?” Jade heard herself ask after a while, unsure if Tori even heard it.

She did, though. For a second her eyes met Jade’s but then quickly looked away, sighing deeply. “I don’t think I can tell you.”

“Why not? Are you afraid of me?”

“Of your judgement, yes.”

“ _Come on_ , Tori.” Jade looked at her with an expression that said _‘you really think that?’_ “Is this about last night?”

“You know...” Tori went on. “I remember parts of last night. How you pushed me to talk about my life now, how you had your judgement ready the whole fucking night and how you wanted to make my night a hell. So _yeah_ , I’m afraid of your judgement.”

“But I took care of you, didn’t I?”

“Only because no one else would.”

“I could’ve left you behind, Vega. But I didn’t. Because, _and I hate to admit it_ , I care about you.”

An awkward tension filled silence went up in the air.

Five minutes passed. Ten minutes passed.

“I was planning on staying in LA.”

Jade looked beside her in surprise and noticed how Tori tried her best to keep herself together once more. Jade wasn’t used to this whole friend thing, so all she did for now was just _listen_. Hoping it would be good enough.

“But then I received a letter that said I didn’t get into the college I had dreamed of my whole time at Hollywood Arts. Every time I came back into the city... I was reminded of how I wasn’t good enough, not talented enough, just not _it._ I understood that maybe I was just too plain and boring. I wanted to leave the toxicity I felt when I was in the city, I wanted to forget about everything, I wanted to start over somewhere else, away from everyone and everything, because maybe, _maybe_ then, I’d be enough.”

Jade felt her heart ache at the words that left the girl’s mouth. It wasn’t something she expected, in fact, it was the complete opposite of it. She felt guilty for ever judging Tori... but then again, she had always judged the girl.

Jade listened as Tori went on. “Now I’m at the south coast, going to some college where everyone is a stranger to me and where I’m just barely hanging on. I live in a studio that looks like a shithole. And oh yeah, I work late nights at this bar where I sometimes get to sing my own songs. I always end up feeling miserable, sleeping with girls I don’t even know and leave them the morning after. I can’t even commit anymore. I’m afraid of everything and I just feel like my life is falling apart. But I don’t want to go back, I really don’t.”

“The perfect life doesn’t exist, Tori.”

Tori instantly met her eyes and Jade took it as the cue to continue. “It comes with a lot of pain, insecurities, exploring and learning. I know because I’m experiencing it. And I’m so bad at this shit but, everything will turn out just fine one day. You’ll get to release music, perform, wake up feeling better one day and next to someone who you _can_ commit to. Life won’t be like this forever. Happiness has a way of finding you one day. I promise.”

“Comes from the person whose soul is as dark as the night.”

“Vega... I’m trying to be a friend here.”

“I know... and I appreciate it. Thank you, Jade.”

“Why is it that you’re being a friend to me now, but for all I know, you’ll be back to hating me tomorrow.”

“I wish I knew, Vega.”

But deep down she _did_ know, though. She knew why she enjoyed today, why she took care of Tori the night before, why she was so pissed when Tori had left LA, why she held up her act around everyone else but as soon as she was alone with Tori for more than a serious amount of time, she let her guard down. She liked Tori... she didn’t quite know in what kind of way yet. It was a new feeling. Maybe it was all part of really becoming friends with someone, or maybe it was more than that.

Tori had gotten shit out of her in a few hours, shit that would take Beck months to get out of her.

The girl had a hold of her and Jade _hated_ it. She _absolutely_ hated it. But she knew that once she would let Tori get too close, she’d end up hurting the girl. She knew that these new feelings were frightening and that she’d do anything to avoid them.

It meant keeping up the act, making it seem like this was a one time thing. It meant pushing it all away, including Tori in person. But once she’d done that, she’d want to come back for more. Jade would end up chasing her, end up caring for her even more.

As much as she didn’t want it to happen, she knew it was something that was inevitable.

Snapping out of her thoughts, Jade tried to enjoy the view with the girl beside her. The sun was slowly setting, an explosion of several colors filling the air. Cars passed by every few minutes, but other than that, it was beautifully quiet. As the evening twilight turned into tones of darkness, Jade felt how Tori’s head slowly began to rest on her shoulder. She didn’t say anything and focused on the beating of her heart. What started out fast and nerve-wrecking, turned into something comfortable and gentle.

And she didn’t want it to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't even know what i wrote tbh. it's a mess to me but i still hope you liked it. don't we just love the tension and love-hate feelings? throw me some kudos and comments. until the next one (:


	4. confusion

“Tori, can you close after cleaning up? I have to go… _emergency thing._ ”

Tori turned to face her boss, sighing lightly as she threw the tea towel over her shoulder. “Sure, James. What kind of emergency is it this time... did your dog die? Or did your girlfriend threaten to burn your house down?”

He chuckled at that, grabbing his keys and jacket before making his way to the main entrance, stopping by the door. “She might just kill me if I’m not back on time. Rather not have her not talk to me for weeks... _again._ ”

Tori shook her head. “I don’t get how you’re able to put up with all the drama.”

“Ah, come on Tori. Everyone loves a little bit of drama,” he exclaimed, flashing her a wink.

“Depends,” Tori shrugged at him, continuing to clean the bar.

“Well... I should go. Thanks for closing tonight, I appreciate it. See you on Wednesday.”

Before Tori could even say something, he was already gone.

It had been two weeks since the reunion with her friends, since staying over at Jade’s, since spending a whole day with Jade. She remembered that day all too well. The tension between them, the laughs, the long talks while watching the sunset... Tori wished it had never ended, but then again, all things came to an end. Jade was the one to offer her a ride back to Andre’s that night and Tori, being herself, couldn’t do anything else than give in to it.

It was rather awkward.

_"There you go, Vega."_

_It wasn't as if Tori pretended to hear nothing... she was just really zoned out. Jade tried another attempt._

_"Vega. We're at Andre's apartment."_

_Tori finally turned her gaze towards Jade from on the passenger's seat and snapped out of her thoughts. "Oh, that's right. We're here. Finally. I've been-"_

_"Stop talking."_

_"I'm sorry," Tori sighed, facing the apartment complex, before meeting Jade's eyes. "I guess I'm just scared of going back home tomorrow."_

_Jade pulled her keys out of the ignition and sighed, looking right ahead of her as she tried to help the girl beside her. "Try not to overthink it too much. You'll be okay, really."_

_"Thanks."_

_Tori silently reciprocated the small smile Jade flashed at her and stepped out of the car. Moments later, Jade, to her surprise, followed right behind her._

_Tori turned to her in confusion. "What are you doing?"_

_"Walking you to Andre's apartment?"_

_"I don't need you to w-"_

_"But I am. Now shut up and go."_

_Protesting was something Tori decided not to do anymore as she started to make her way up the three stairs, Jade walking a few steps behind. They walked side by side through the hallway, silence surrounding them._

_A few moments later they finally came to a stop in front of Andre's apartment door._

_"Why aren't you ringing the doorbell?"_

_"Because I..." Tori shyly looked down as she spoke the words. "I don't know."_

_"Fine, I'll do it."_

_Jade pressed the doorbell with Tori's eyes on her. Seconds later the door opened, a tired looking Andre standing in the doorway as he switched glances between the girls._

_"Tori! Jade!"_

_"Er, hi Andre," Tori said, smiling at him awkwardly as Jade did the same thing in the form of a wave._

_A frown appeared on his face, but he didn't comment on the awkward tension. "You finally made it, huh?"_

_"Yeah," Tori chuckled softly. "Jade offered me a ride back so..."_

_"Yup, and I should go," Jade chimed in, making her way to leave._

_Tori and Andre looked at each other in confusion, before the brunette decided to go after Jade. "Wait!"_

_Jade froze at the sound of Tori's voice and turned around to face her. "What?"_

_"I uh... Thank you for, you know... giving me a ride and for... today. I enjoyed it."_

_Tori stood there as she waited for another one of those mean comments Jade would make. It took the girl in front of her a while, but she found the words. To Tori's surprise, they were actually... nice?_

_"It's no problem, Vega. I enjoyed it too, thank you for distracting me today. I guess you're not always that annoying."_

_They looked at each other with a hint of a smile, both of them waiting for the other to make the next move._

_Within a few seconds, Tori felt Jade's arms wrapped around her body. It took her a few moments to do the same, burying her face in the girl’s neck. They'd hugged before, it were short ones, most of them feeling quite forced to say the least, but this one was different. It held on longer, it felt more... genuine, more real._

_They didn't want to let each other go, but wouldn't dare say so._

_Tori was the one to pull away first, leaving an uncomfortable looking Jade standing there. The green-eyed girl nervously fumbled with her car keys, before looking up to meet Tori's eyes._

_"I should really go now. See you, Vega."_

_"Yes. Yes, of course. Bye, Jade."_

_She watched Jade walk away, get into the car and drive away until she was out of sight. Tori then walked back to the apartment, sighing deeply as she closed the door behind her, only to be met with Andre's suspicious gaze._

_"That hug was quite intimate."_

_"It was just a hug, Andre. Jade and I are... friends, if that's even what we are. I don't know, she still hates me sometimes."_

_"We don't hug like that and we are friends."_

_"I don't care, Andre. She was just looking for comfort, okay?"_

_"Sure, Tori. If that's what you think..."_

_"Shut up."_

After closing down the bar, Tori had made her way home, arriving at the apartment complex shortly after. Sure, she could've just walked, but driving took her less time.

Holding her keys in one hand while holding her black handbag in the other, she stepped into the elevator. Two floors up, she made her way out and walked down the hallway outside, trying to find the right door in the darkness of the night.

It wasn't long until she found the right door, only to see a figure sitting in front of it, smoke flowing through the air close to them. A frown appeared on Tori's face as she got closer. She suddenly remembered who it was.

"Amber?"

The raven haired girl stubbed out her cigarette, looking up at Tori with her captivating brown eyes. "Good, you're here."

Tori froze in her tracks and raised a brow at the girl. “What the hell are you doing here at _2 A.M?_

“I’ve been texting and calling you for two weeks. You never answered.”

Tori sighed deeply as she walked past Amber, trying to find the right key to unlock the apartment door. “I told you I don’t do relationships.”

Behind her Tori could feel the girl standing up, leaning against the wall as she watched Tori open the door. Tori quickly moved to close the door, but the raven haired girl stuck a foot in between to stop her from doing so.

With rolling eyes, Tori watched as Amber entered her apartment studio. With every step Tori took, the girl followed behind her like a lost puppy. It got on Tori’s nerves, but she decided to just crash down on her sofa, ignoring Amber as the girl went to sit down beside her.

Still not looking at Amber, Tori decided to fire a question at her. “So, what are you _really_ doing here?”

Amber shrugged, trying to catch Tori’s attention by staring at her. “I just wanted to talk.”

“What if I want to sleep?”

“Then I’ll sleep with you.”

Tori let out a laugh of disbelief. This girl was _unbelievable_. “I don’t think so, Amber.”

“Just... look at me.”

Tori turned her gaze towards the girl and met her eyes. “I’m looking at you. Now what?”

Amber leaned forward, gently resting her hand on Tori’s knee as the tension between them grew. “You’re so afraid, and of _what_? That someone’s going to hurt you? That you’ll end up alone? That you can never love someone? Tori, let me tell you, if you don’t give in, you’ll never know.”

“You’re just saying that,” Tori scoffed at her while shaking her head.

Suddenly, Tori felt herself becoming nervous seeing the grin that appeared on Amber’s face.

“Maybe,” Amber whispered, her gaze flickering between Tori’s eyes and lips. “Or maybe I’m just telling you exactly how it is.”

“And how am I supposed to know if you’re _telling it exactly how it is_?”

Amber shrugged at the question, staring down at Tori’s lips. “There’s only one way to find out, right?”

A moment of silence filled the room as neither of them made the next move.

_“Fuck it.”_

Tori didn’t know what came over her after that. Within a matter of seconds, her hands had found Amber’s face, pulling her closer to press their lips together in a lustful kiss. It went fast in that moment of heat.

Tori wasn’t even sure why she was giving in. This girl had showed up at her door at 2 A.M, not accepting the fact that Tori never contacted her again after the last time they’d seen each other. Tori knew she liked Amber as a person, she was attractive, interesting, funny, smart even. She was the only one Tori hooked up with more than once. But Tori didn’t want a relationship, she didn’t want the commitment, she didn’t want the responsibilities, the hurt, the fights, the toxicity... yet, she found herself letting this girl in. Not only into her apartment, not only her body, but now also her mind.

Or wasn’t it like that? This had been different than the feeling she got when she hung out with Jade. She liked how Jade made her feel, but then again, Jade saw her as a friend. _Hell_ , maybe Jade still hated her. But something did change after the reunion. Tori had seen Jade in a whole new light. The bond with her brother, her situation at home and how when they were together, just the two of them, she could actually let her guard down and show a softer side. A side of the girl that Tori really liked.

It was confusing to Tori, everything she felt was _confusing_.

Maybe she was just confusing friendly feelings with romantic feelings. What if Jade didn’t even like girls in that way? What if it would ruin the relationship they’d build? Tori’s mind was a mess, but one thing was sure, she wanted Jade around. _As a friend_ , she told herself. As a _friend_.

It’s why she let herself go that night. Every touch, every kiss and every form of pleasure made her forget all that was going on. Would she regret it in the morning? _Probably._ Or was this the start of a new chapter in her life? _Maybe._

_\---_

It was already late that morning when Tori woke up. When she noticed the half-naked body of the girl laying next to her under the covers, she realized what had happened hours before she woke up. The girl had called her out on her behaviour, Tori gave in, they had sex and now here they were.

Quietly getting up out of bed and sneaking into the shower, Tori took the moment of relaxation to rethink everything that happened. If she was, indeed, developing romantic feelings for Jade, they wouldn’t ever end up together anyways. Jade had never told Tori she liked girls, Tori would be too scared to tell her, Jade’s parents probably wouldn’t approve and even if that all _did_ turn out positive, Tori probably would find a way to break her high school frenemy’s heart. Yeah... things clearly wouldn’t work out.

Now, back to the present day, there was a girl laying in her bed. A girl she found attractive, a girl who she somewhat liked despite some irritations, a girl who actually put effort into her and pushed her, maybe it would be the girl who’d learn her how to love.

It was a scary thought to Tori. Letting someone in completely was something she’d never done before. Not a full hundred percent. But maybe now it was the right time to do so.

Minutes later Tori got out of the shower and put a white robe over her lingerie, being as quiet as possible while blow drying her hair, before she stepped back into studio apartment. Amber was nowhere to be seen though.

That was until Tori heard two familiar voices at the apartment door. Covered in only that stupid robe, Tori walked up to the door, noticing Amber and Jade standing there.

_Jade?_

Eyes met for a few seconds, before both of them began scanning each other completely. Tori’s eyes landed on the black dress hanging over Jade’s arm. “Jade? What are you doing here and why did you bring a dress with you?”

Jade handed the dress to her. “Well Vega... You left the dress at my house. I came to give it back to you.”

In the corner of her eye Tori noticed how Amber followed the interactions with a suspicious frown on her face, but decided to ignore her presence for a few seconds, turning her focus back to Jade as she took the dress. “I uh... _Thank you?_ ”

“Why was your dress even at her house?” Amber shot at Tori, leaning her back against the doorway as she eyed both girls.

Tori shrugged awkwardly, trying to come up with the explanation. Luckily for her, Jade was faster.

“We had some sort of high school reunion with old friends, Tori got drunk and stayed the night at my place. We hung out the next day and I borrowed her some clothes, she just forgot the dress. No big deal, right?”

“Okay then,” Amber shrugged, pressing a cigarette between her lips. “I’m gonna take a smoke.”

Tori and Jade both watched as the girl walked around the corner and lit up the cigarette. Tori then motioned for Jade to enter the apartment. “Come in... and don’t comment on how shitty it looks, please.”

“Can’t make any promises, Vega.”

Tori followed behind Jade and noticed how the girl glanced around the apartment, taking in everything. She was scared of a reaction, but Jade didn’t say anything other than a _‘looks fine to me.’_

Tori chuckled at that, putting the dress back in her closet before walking over to the kitchen. She poured three cups of coffee, carried them on a plate and placed it on the side table near the sofa. After handing Jade one, she went to sit back next to her.

Pulling her knees up to her chest while facing Jade, Tori decided to ask the girl a question as she took a quiet sip from her coffee. “Why’d you come all the way here at eleven in the morning? And how’d you even get my address?”

Jade cupped her hands around the cup of coffee before answering that question. “Because I can. And Andre.”

Tori laughed lightly and let out a small sigh. “Of course it was Andre. Hey, do you want the clothes that I borrowed back?”

“No it’s fine,” Jade waved it off. “You can keep them.”

“As a reminder of your dark soul?”

“God, I hate you.”

“You love me.”

Jade shrugged at that. “I’m starting to accept your presence.”

“Good enough.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you have a girlfriend?”

Tori’s eyes widened at the question as their gazes crossed. “Did she tell-”

“No, she didn’t. But she did mention how _great of a night_ the two of you had.”

“ _Freaking hell_ ,” Tori muttered under her breath, running a hand over her face.

“So, she’s not your girlfriend?”

“No,” Tori said sternly, kind of catching Jade off guard.

Right at that moment, Amber walked back in with a black denim jacket in her hand. Completely ignoring Jade’s presence, she made her way towards Tori and pecked her lips before leaning in close to Tori’s ear, whispering, “ _I’ll see you soon_.”

She then walked up to the door, turning around once more and eyeing Jade. “Bye Jade. See you, Tori.”

After receiving a wink from the girl, Tori just watched in confusion when the door closed, turning back to Jade with that same expression.

Jade pointed at the still untouched cup of coffee that was actually meant for Amber. “Can I have that one then?”

Tori nodded silently as her eyes followed Jade’s movements. After a few seconds of silence, Jade looked up to meet her eyes. “She’s _definitely_ your girlfriend.”

“I guess so, huh?”

Tori felt a sting in her heart by admitting it, but told herself that it would be okay. Jade would only ever be her friend, her developed feelings for the girl would leave once she’d get closer to Amber. Everything would work out just fine.

Little did she know though, that Jade was quietly cursing on the inside, wondering how she’d ever get Tori to fall for her instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was dealing with a writer's block but finally managed to finish the fourth chapter. (yay!) i hope you'll enjoy it. i can't tell when the next one will be up, but i definitely will continue it. throw me some kudos and comments. until next time (:


	5. the hurt game

After talking some more, Tori and Jade decided to spend the day together. Jade was there anyway and Tori enjoyed the girl's company, there was some catching up to do.

Walking side by side down the boulevard, Jade gave Tori's shoulder a small nudge and turned to her with a small grin. "So... when are you going to show me that bar you work at?"

Tori stopped in her tracks, playfully rolling her eyes at Jade. "Never."

"But I want you to pour me a drink... and watch you sing," Jade pouted.

"Trust me, you don't," Tori sighed, running a hand through her hair while continuing to walk.

"Trust me, I _do_ ," Jade repeated, twisting the words.

Tori eventually decided to give in. "Fine. I'll show you tonight. I'm not working though."

"That's fine," Jade shrugged. "I'll just visit you another time when you're actually _working_."

“Does that mean we don’t have to go there tonight?” Tori asked hopefully.

“Excuse me? We _are_ going there tonight. It’s for... observance.”

Tori scoffed at the girl. “You’re annoying.”

“Talking about yourself now, Vega?”

A punch against her shoulder was enough for Jade to know what Tori made of the comment. Jade couldn’t help but enjoy to tease the girl at any possible given point.

After quite a walk down the boulevard, the two decided to sit at an outdoor cafe. It wasn’t that hot outside, but just the perfect temperature to enjoy the view and catch up on things.

A few seconds after they took their seats on the terrace, a waiter came their way. While Tori was busy on her phone, Jade patiently waited for the boy to arrive at their table.

“What can I get you two?”

The voice startled Tori and she immediately put her phone away, receiving a dead glare from Jade. She quickly turned to face the waiter. “An iced tea, please.”

After writing it down, the waiter turned to Jade. “A latte macchiato.”

“Great. It will be there shortly.”

When he was out of sight, Tori noticed how Jade still wasn’t as happy with her. “What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Jade shrugged. “It just annoys me when people only have attention for their phone when they’re with someone.”

Tori opened her mouth to defend herself, but closed it instantly, taking a few seconds to say something in response. “It was only a few seconds, okay? You have my full attention now.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Jade sighed, flashing the girl a reassuring smile. “Who were you texting anyway?”

“Just Amber,” Tori mumbled, waving it off.

Jade tried to hide the shock of jealousy that flowed through her body once Tori mentioned the girl’s name. “I don’t like her.”

Tori rolled her eyes at that and chuckled. “You don’t like anyone.”

“I mean...” Jade trailed off. “True.”

“See, I’m always right.”

“No, you’re not.”

“But I am.”

“Do you want me to put you on my _‘people I dislike’_ list? Because you’re getting pretty close to it now.”

“Shut up, you love me.”

“I can tolerate your company.”

“That’s enough for now.”

They both laughed lightly before the waiter arrived and handed them the drinks. After thanking him, Tori decided to switch the topic. “I haven’t even asked. How’s Roman? How are you holding up?”

Jade felt her heart warm at the question as she met Tori’s brown eyes. “Well... I’m still at my dad’s. I sort of made up with my mom over dinner last week, but for now I feel more comfortable staying with my father. Roman’s dealing with it better than I am, to be honest. He’s with mom now and I see him at the weekends when he comes over.”

Tori quietly nodded at that. “I hope everything’s back to being okay soon, but I’m already glad there’s at least _some_ progress. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Vega.”

“You’re welcome,” Tori smiled back. “Now tell me about college, I never got to hear about it at the reunion.”

Jade sighed at the question, totally not in the mood to talk about it. “Are you really _that_ curious...”

“Yes, I am.”

“Well then...” Jade started, trying to come up with the right words to say. “Honestly it’s a lot like Hollywood Arts, only tougher and more focused on my interests. I’m currently doing this internship in LA where I’m helping to write a script for this upcoming web series. And oh yeah, once it starts filming I get a look behind the scenes with the director and stuff. So...”

“That sounds so cool,” Tori exclaimed excitedly, startling Jade in the meantime. “This really is your thing. What’s the web series about?”

“Some cliche _‘good girl falls in love with the badboy’_ plot, I absolutely despise it.”

Jade noticed how Tori’s mouth formed an o shape at that. “That’s _definitely_ not your thing.”

“Exactly,” Jade groaned. “I wanted to give it a dark twist but, _of course_ , they declined my idea.”

“Well, they’re missing out then,” Tori said, flashing Jade a wink.

“If you didn’t have a girlfriend, I’d almost think you’re flirting with me, Vega.”

Tori seemed to be taken aback by the comment and Jade had no idea what it meant, confusion was all she felt. Just when Tori wanted to react, her phone began buzzing on the table.

Tori looked up at Jade and mouthed a _‘sorry’_ , before accepting the call. _“Yes?”_

_“I’m with Jade.”_

_“No, I’m with her the whole day, we’re going to visit my workplace tonight.”_

_“I’ll ask her.”_

Tori put the phone away from her ear and turned her gaze towards Jade. “Is it okay with you if Amber joins us tonight?”

While every bone, muscle and thought in her body said no, Jade eventually nodded awkwardly. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure.”

Tori mouthed a _‘thank you’_ and put the phone back to her ear. _“She says it’s fine.”_

_“Yes, of course. See you tonight, beautiful.”_

Jade felt herself cringe at the nickname and watched in silence as Tori ended the call, taking a sip from her ice tea.

Jade cleared her throat. “That was... intense.”

Tori rolled her eyes at that. “Shut up. It’s been a while since I was in a relationship.”

“I was just teasing, Vega.”

A light chuckle escaped Tori’s body. “I know, Jade.”

\--

After some long talks, laughs, drinks, annoying jokes and tension, Tori and Jade went back to the brunette’s apartment.

Jade crashed down on the couch, picking up the remote and turning on the television while Tori used the bathroom. She couldn’t help but laugh when she saw what had been Tori’s last watch; a cartoon channel.

Once she heard Tori’s footsteps, Jade yelled at the girl in a teasing way. “Is this really what you’re watching in your free time, Vega?”

With an annoyed glare, Tori sat down next to Jade, facing the television. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing,” Jade shrugged. “I just wanted to annoy you _again_.”

“You succeeded.”

“I always do.”

“I mean...” Tori averted her gaze towards Jade with a hint of a smile resting on her lips. “Sometimes you don’t.”

Jade tried to hide the smile that crept up on her face and turned away from Tori, stealing glances every once in a while as they watched _‘Tom & Jerry’_.

“You know I can feel you staring, right Jade?”

Jade felt like she had been caught red-handed and instantly looked away, cursing on the inside as she tried to put up the tough act. “Just making sure your eyes don’t start to bleed while looking at this crappy cartoon.”

“Why are we even friends when you literally dislike everything I _do_ like?”

Yeah... _friends_.

“Because I don’t know who else to annoy,” Jade shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Fair enough.”

The two sat in silence after that and Jade actually enjoyed the next cartoon, which included lots of dark humor. Minutes passed by in a rush and they lost track of time. It wasn’t until Tori started to rest the side of her face on Jade’s shoulder, that Jade noticed what time it was. And not only that, being this close to Tori scared her and made her feel nervous, but... also jealous, because Tori would do this way more often with her girlfriend.

Jade quickly sat upright as Tori pulled away from her.

Jade pointed at the kitchen. “What’s for dinner?”

“I have some spaghetti left...”

Jade stood up from the couch and motioned for Tori to do the same. “Let’s make some spaghetti then.”

As everything was practically in one room, except for the bathroom, the two stood side by side in the small kitchen, trying to cook their dinner for the day.

It didn’t go without discussions.

“Hand me the olive oil.”

“Why can’t you grab it yourself, I’m trying to cut these onions here, Vega.”

“ _Because_ , you’re literally standing right next to it. And _wait_ , why aren’t you crying?”

Jade sighed and handed Tori the olive oil. “It just doesn’t affect me.”

“Unbelievable.”

After all the ingredients were prepared and warming up on the stove, Tori was busy cooking the pasta as Jade just watched from behind her, quietly observing the brunette. In full focus, Tori mixed everything into one big bowl.

“Finally,” she sighed, ready to grab the bowl.

It was the perfect timing for Jade to creep up behind Tori and cover the girl’s mouth with one hand, as her free arm wrapped itself around the brunette’s body. Tori quickly turned around in Jade’s grip.

 _“Oh. My. God.”_ Tori breathed, giving a soft push against Jade’s chest. “You scared the shit out of me.”

Jade chuckled in amusement. “That was my intention.”

“A bad one,” Tori scoffed at her with a pout.

It was right then, when the two realized that Tori was still in Jade’s grip _and_ that Jade hadn’t made any movements on letting Tori go. It caused an awkward scene to take place.

“Uh, Jade?”

“Yeah?”

“Why is your arm still wrapped around my body?”

Jade’s eyes switched between Tori’s eyes to the arm that was wrapped around the girl’s body. “I uh... _I don’t know?”_

“Can you... let me go?”

The question caused the two to meet each others eyes, both completely frozen as they looked at each other. For a moment, Jade could swear she noticed Tori leaning in.

Jade quickly released Tori, shaking her head as she walked away from the kitchen. “We should eat.”

“Yeah, we should...” Tori murmured underneath her breath, grabbing the bowl full of spaghetti from the kitchen counter.

During dinner it was like nothing ever happened. They talked and laughed, preparing themselves for their night out; a night they’d rather, or rather not, forget.

\--

Jade watched patiently as Tori opened the door of the bar, motioning for her to come in. They had agreed to just walk there, drink whatever they wanted to drink and make it as late as they wanted. Tori could work from home for college the next day and Jade’s internship only started at 3 pm, which meant there was enough time to go out.

It was a little before 10 pm when they finally made their way through the place. It was crowded, but not overly crowded, live dance music sounded and a few people were dancing, meanwhile most of them were just seated; laughing, drinking and talking loudly.

It normally wasn’t Jade’s scene, but she decided to just follow the all dressed up Tori, who had already spotted Amber.

Right... _Amber_.

Amber, who was sitting back in the corner and sipping on a cocktail, quickly stood up once she saw the two. Her long raven hair was up in a bun, her appearance was cold, but turned warmer as she pulled Tori into a hug, leaving a soft peck on the cheek as she pulled away.

“Hey babe.”

Jade noticed the shy smile that appeared on Tori’s face. A sting shot through her heart, wishing it could be her who made Tori feel this way.

Instead, she just watched the interaction between the two take place.

“Hey, you.” Tori spoke softly, meeting Amber’s eyes before pointing at Jade. “Here’s Jade.”

Jade saw the girl’s eyes averting to her own and flashed her an awkward wave. “Hi.”

“Long time no see,” Amber chuckled at her. “What can I get you two?”

“A beer,” Jade mumbled, taking a seat across from the booth where Tori sat down. Jade already regretted the fact that she’d agreed to come here and watch the two be disgustingly in love.

“Bourbon on the rocks,” Tori smiled at her girlfriend, who nodded and made her way towards the bar.

Jade raised an eyebrow at Tori, who looked back at her in confusion.

“What?”

“Just didn’t see you as a bourbon kinda person.”

“What can I say...” Tori shrugged. “You’d be surprised at all the things that are different about me ever since we graduated from Hollywood Arts.”

Jade grinned at that. “Oh yeah? Like...?”

“Well...” Tori started. “I can actually drive now.”

“Still need to sit next to you and get into a car crash then, Vega.”

They both laughed at the comment.

“What else?”

“I kind of hate sushi now...”

Jade’s eyes jokingly went wide and she almost made her way to leave. “That’s it, I’m leaving.”

It wasn’t until Tori grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down, that Jade came back to her senses, sort of.

“Don’t be cranky.”

“Am not.”

“People grow out of love with things...”

“That’s just bullshit.”

“What is?”

They both turned their heads towards the voice, whose belonged to Amber.

“Ah, nothing.”

Tori just waved it off as Amber placed their drinks on the table and sat down next to Tori.

Jade instantly took a sip from her beer, before looking up at Amber. “So... how’d you meet Tori?”

“I just came here one night,” Amber shrugged. “Tori was working here, we started talking and after that night I just went here regularly... only to see her though. We hit it off and now, a few months later, we’re here. Right, Tori?”

“Yup,” Tori said, popping the ‘p’. “You’re the lucky one to put up with my annoying ass.”

“She’s right,” Jade laughed, pointing at Tori. “Vega’s _extremely_ annoying.”

“Hey!” Tori raised her voice, jokingly slapping the girl across from her.

In between the action, Jade noticed Amber glaring at her as if she’d just done something illegal. To add some more anger to that glare, Jade held onto Tori’s hand just a little bit longer, softly squeezing it before letting go.

Jade had to hide the amusement she felt when she saw how Amber was boiling inside.

The raven haired girl then suddenly stood up, holding up a hand for Tori to take. “Wanna dance?”

Tori nodded gently, taking Amber’s hand and following the girl onto the dance floor, where several people were dancing wildly as the live DJ played some upbeat songs.

Jade just sat there with her beer, watching as the two girls danced closer and closer to each other with each song that passed. The hands all over Tori’s body, the laughs and quick kisses to her neck, the grinding, the spinning, it all made Jade want to throw up.

But she knew it was just jealousy.

A few beers and a shot of courage later, Jade decided to get up there too. But just when she arrived, Tori walked away to the stage and started talking to the DJ. Jade stood there awkwardly as she felt Amber’s eyes burn right through her.

“Enjoying the night so far?”

Jade looked at the girl with a hint of confusion, but tried to act normal. “Yeah. _Yeah_ , of course. You?”

“Couldn’t be better,” Amber responded with a close mouthed smile.

Jade just knew it was a fake one.

What happened then, was something both of them didn’t expect. Tori stood on the small stage with a microphone in her hand as an all too familiar melody started booming through the speakers.

“This one’s for you, Jade!”

When Tori started singing, all Jade could do was laugh and shake her head at the song. It took her all the way back to their high school times.

All eyes were suddenly on her and Amber when Tori started to walk towards them. Excitement and nerves flowed through Jade’s body once she noticed that Tori was only focused on her.

Standing right in front of Jade with a bright smile, Tori sang the next few lines. “ _So what's it gonna be_ _,_ _t_ _ell me, can you hear me?_ ”

Jade felt an arm around her shoulder and a microphone in between her and Tori. She knew what that meant...

“ _I'm so sick of it, your attention deficit_ _  
_ _Never listen, you never listen_ _  
_ _I'm so sick of it so I'll throw another fit_ _  
_ _Never listen, you never listen_ ”

After all those years, they’d finally sung together again.

Tori then pulled away again, running back to the stage to finish the song. All eyes were on Tori, except for Amber’s. A dead glare was what Jade received from her.

Jade laughed on the inside as Tori walked back towards them after a massive round of applause. Running straight into Amber’s arms, Tori turned to face Jade. “What’d you think?”

Switching glances between Amber and Tori, Jade just tried to keep it cool. “Loved it. Took me back to the good old days.”

Amber then pulled away from Tori, pointing outside. “I’m just gonna take a smoke, alright?”

Tori nodded at that. “Yes, of course.”

But before the raven haired girl could walk away, Tori pulled onto the girl’s shirt, bringing their faces closer as she softly kissed her girlfriend.

Jade’s eyes followed Amber as the girl walked out of the bar. Tori’s voice brought her back to reality.

“She’s amazing, right?”

Jade didn’t really know what to say, but eventually managed to get something out. “Uh, yeah. She is.”

“Good, I’d feel awful if you still wouldn’t like her.”

“That was only a joke, Vega. I’m happy for you.”

The grateful smile that appeared on Tori’s face, was enough for Jade to feel like a complete fool. She knew she’d do anything to keep Tori Vega happy... even if it meant pretending that she liked the brunette’s girlfriend.

Jade didn’t even know what all this meant for their friendship, but she knew one thing for sure, sooner or later, she wouldn’t be able to hide her feelings for Tori anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there! it's been a while, but if you read this, well then... congrats! you've read the fifth chapter. sorry for the long wait. also, thank you so much for over 1000 reads and more than 100 kudos. your support means the world to me and keeps me writing. throw me some kudos and tell me what you thought of it. until the next one! (:


	6. fix it to break it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not me updating this fic after six fucking months. i'm so sorry lol. life has been... chaotic and stressful. hopefully this can make up for it a little. i hope everyone is doing well, and if not, you got this!! 
> 
> enjoy (:

After an exhausting day at college, Tori had decided it was time to see a familiar face, rather than all those students and her _girlfriend_. It still felt weird, being committed to someone like that... but Tori made it work. She tried to see Amber once or twice a week, they texted, FaceTimed daily and Tori had even met her parents. They lived nearby each other, but both girls didn’t have that much free time throughout the week, caught up in college, internships and work. 

It had been like this for four weeks in a row, and Tori needed a short break, especially because she _missed_ Jade West, something she wouldn’t have liked to admit three years ago. It felt different now, and going a month without seeing each other, felt more like a whole year. 

Jade asked Tori if she could come over several times, but every time Tori had some sort of free time, she had to decline the offer, feeling bad if she’d put Jade over her own girlfriend.

Today was different though. It was the end of the college week, a cloudy but nice Friday afternoon, a weekend wherein Amber would be gone for a trip with her parents and a whole weekend without work. Not even thinking twice about it, Tori had started the engine of her car to drive to the city she hated most. 

She finally had the time to see her friend. 

Through the chaotic LA traffic, Tori managed to find a parking spot close to the company where Jade would be at for her internship. 

Stepping out of the vehicle and leaning against it, Tori texted Jade, hoping Jade would see it quickly so she wouldn’t have to wait for an eternity. 

**(4:15 pm):** _come outside. i have a surprise for you :)_

An extensive five minutes later, the doors of the company slid open, a joyful Jade West walking through them. Once spotting Tori leaning against her car, she opened her mouth in confusion. “Vega? What are you _doing_ here?”

Tori held up her hands in awkward excitement. “Surprise?”

Jade immediately crossed her arms over her chest, frowning. “Wait... _you’re_ the surprise?”

“Yeah...” Tori smiled at her, not sure if it was genuine or just an attempt.

Jade scoffed at her. “Then I’m heading back inside.”

Once Jade noticed how Tori’s face turned all pale and disappointed, she burst out laughing. “Geez, I was joking. Come here.”

Tori shook her head and sighed in relief, running up towards Jade and throwing her arms around the girl. She noticed how surprised Jade was at the excitement and joy that Tori showed towards her, but eventually felt the girl’s arms around her body. For a moment, she even felt a pair of lips graze the side of her face. 

As soon as the embrace had begun, it already ended.

Standing close to each other, Jade ran a hand through her dark locks, raising a brow at the girl in front of her. “Why are you here?”

“I was hoping to grab a coffee with you, because I... well, I missed you.” Tori shrugged, meeting Jade’s eyes in the process.

Tori noticed how the girl’s eyes lit up, as well as her smile. “That’d be great. I’ll just head back in and pack up my things, we were just finishing up anyways.”

Tori nodded in response, watching Jade as she headed back inside, but not before she turned to Tori once more. “Vega?”

Tori looked up at her questioningly. 

“I missed you too.” 

The soft smile that came with it, was enough to send butterflies through Tori’s entire body. It was wrong to feel this way, but she couldn’t help it. For her own sake, Amber’s sake _and_ Jade’s sake, she decided to keep on pushing those feelings away. It would _never_ happen.

*******

“Jesus Christ Vega, could you grab it already? My hands are full.” Jade practically pushed the cup of coffee into Tori’s hands, letting out an exhale of relief when she realized she didn’t drop anything.

Tori laughed at the little anger outburst, and put the cup to her lips. Jade watched her as she took a sip, as if she was waiting for a comment on the coffee. Tori nodded, impressed. “This is better than expected.”

“Than expected?” Jade scoffed at her, a deadly glare coming Tori’s way. “Did you think it would taste like piss?”

“Maybe…”

“I should’ve never brought you here.”

Those words made Tori pout. “You don’t mean that.”

“Of course not. Sarcasm exists, Vega,” Jade said, eventually sending a smile her way. “Plus, I brought you here for a reason.”

Tori raised an eyebrow at that, curious what that exact reason would be. She already thought it was weird that Jade made her drive all the way back to her father’s house for just a cup of coffee, but didn’t yet question it then, now she did, though. “What reason?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“I thought you hated surprises.”

“I do. But it wasn’t my idea.”

“Then whose was it?”

_“Vega…”_

Tori put her hands up in defense. “Okay, okay. I’ll stop interrogating you.”

Just then, the front door opened. Some noise came from the hall and after a few seconds, Jade’s little brother, Roman, walked through the door, a backpack hanging over one of his shoulders. “I’m home!”

“Yeah, I see you.” 

Roman turned to look at where the voice came from, and rolled his eyes at Jade. “Good evening to you too, Jade.” His gaze then turned towards Tori, who sat behind Jade on the sofa. He greeted her with a wave. “Hey, Tori. Long time no see.”

It still surprised Tori how Jade’s little brother was so different from her… personality wise then. He was sympathetic, unlike Jade. She waved back at him with a smile. “Hi, Roman!”

Tori noticed how Jade’s glance switched between Roman and her, as if she was confused with their interaction. But truth was, Jade’s brother was nice, and Tori liked nice people. She eyed Jade with a cocked eyebrow when Roman went upstairs. “Everything okay?”

Once Jade came back to reality, she shook her head and let out a chuckle. “Uh, yeah. Just not used to… people coming over here and _actually_ talking to my little brother.” 

“Well… he’s _your_ brother, of course I would talk to him,” Tori replied, flashing Jade an attempt of a wink. Jade hated the fact that her stomach did flips at the sight.

All the more reason to change the subject. “How’s your girlfriend?”

Tori turned to her with confusion, but quickly responded. “Amber’s doing fine. She’s away with her parents for the weekend; some trip. I was free this weekend, so I thought, why not visit Jade?”

“Free the whole weekend, huh?” Jade commented with a grin. “You can stay here, if you want to. My dad isn’t home anyway.”

“I’d love to.” Tori didn’t even hesitate. “But _wait_ … where is he?”

“He’s with his girlfriend, Amanda. They are staying in New York for the weekend, also a… _trip_?” Jade explained, sighing loudly after.

“ _Ah_.” It wasn’t like Jade liked talking about it, but Tori felt like asking about the topic would maybe help. “Do you get along with her?”

“She’s fine,” Jade waved off. “My mom hates her, so you might’ve noticed.”

Tori nodded in confirmation. “Yup.”

She turned to look at Jade, who had to repress herself from laughing. When Tori started though, she laughed along. Tori didn’t even know what was so funny, but seeing Jade laugh was all that mattered right now. 

That was until the doorbell rang, and footsteps stumbled down the stairs to open the door. Tori and Jade both watched in confusion as Roman talked to someone at the door, before turning around the corner with two boxes of pizza. “How about some pizza as dinner?”

“Well, _Romeo_ , since you’re already standing here with two boxes of _pizza_ in your hand, I guess we have no other choice, now do we?” Jade said, standing up from the sofa and giving him a soft pat on his head as she grabbed one of the boxes. 

Roman sighed in annoyance, before laughing at his sister and making his way to take a seat on the fauteuil across from the sofa. As Jade walked off to the kitchen, Tori sat up a little more forward and eyed Roman. “What’s the surprise for tonight?”

Roman, in his turn, stretched his body to look over at the kitchen, where Jade was still busy. He leaned closer to Tori, and talked as silently as possible. “I think she said something about old friends coming here?”

Ah, so _that_ was the surprise. But just before Tori could ask on, Jade interrupted them as she placed the box with pizza on the table in front of them. She sat down back next to Tori, frowning at both her and Roman. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Roman quickly spoke, grabbing a slice and taking a bite. “Tori asked about my day.”

“And how _was_ your day?” Jade asked, handing the pizza box over to Tori, who watched amusingly as the raven-haired girl and her brother talked. Their bond was so much better than her bond with Trina. _It’s what Jade deserved_ , Tori thought.

“Fine,” Roman shrugged. “I’m gonna watch the Lakers game at Ben’s tonight, by the way.”

“That’s okay,” Jade said. “Be back around midnight though.”

Roman nodded firmly. “Dad’s rules, I know.”

 *******  
As the evening had progressed and Roman had left, Jade and Tori started getting everything ready for when their old friends would arrive. Tori had laughed in amusement when Jade found out that Roman had already told her about the surprise. Luckily for Roman, he had left the house before Jade would go after him.

The living room and kitchen were both filled with drinks and food, and music was roaming through the place. Since both spaces were open and in the same place, it was even more gigantic than the living room alone. Tori really wasn’t used to it. Not that it mattered, though. “What time will—”

And just in time, the doorbell rang. Tori looked at Jade with a grin, before they both decided to fasten towards the door. A squealing Cat showed up in the doorway, with Robbie behind her. Time to say hi was something Tori and Jade couldn’t do, because the redhead jumped onto the both of them. “I missed you!”

“Yeah, yeah…” Jade said, pushing Cat away from her. “Missed you too.”

As Cat ran past both of them, Tori opened her arms for Robbie, who immediately did the same and embraced her in a hug. As they pulled away from each other, Robbie did the same towards Jade, but she yelled a big _no_ at him. Somewhat embarrassed, Robbie followed behind Cat.

Tori turned to Jade with a look that said _‘are you serious?’_ , “Why do you _still_ have to be so mean towards him?”

“I don’t like him. Never did. Never will.”  
  
Jade moved to close the door, but a familiar voice made her freeze. “Hold up!”

Beck stumbled through the doorway, Andre laughing behind him. The two boys then came face to face with Tori and Jade. 

“Andre!” Tori exclaimed enthusiastically, jumping into his arms.

Jade and Beck both watched the interaction, before meeting each other’s gaze. It was rather… _awkward_. And although Jade didn’t actually want it, she let Beck hug her. She hated how it somehow felt familiar and nice, how she let it happen. It took longer than expected and as they both pulled away, all Jade saw was how Tori’s eyes were fixated on her. 

Jade didn’t know it, but Tori felt jealousy creep up on herself. It just… _happened_. Trying to push it away though, she wrapped her arms around Beck. “It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see _you_ ,” Beck smiled, after pulling away from the embrace. 

A slightly uncomfortable silence fell over the four old friends. Luckily, Andre was the one to break it. “Let’s go then, shall we?”

Tori wandered behind the three, distancing herself from them as she tried to comprehend what was happening to her. It wasn’t as if Jade couldn’t hug anyone else, or kiss someone else, or _whatever_ , they weren’t even together, hell, they would _never_ be. But Tori couldn’t help the sting she felt in her heart when she watched the two former lovers hug so lovingly.

 _You have a girlfriend Tori, stop doing this._ And so, she tried to stop herself from thinking and feeling. It started with some wine, then some shots, and before she knew it, she was bragging on about how happy she was with Amber, college, and her life. It wasn’t like she was completely out of it, but she couldn’t stop herself from blurting out all the nonsense, regretting every word once she realized she had spoken them out loud.

The dead glares from Jade were enough to feel even more awful about it all. She quickly excused herself, fast walking towards the bathroom and locking the door behind her. Time to talk some sense into herself, was something she didn’t have, as she heard a loud knock on the door.

“Who’s there?”

“Jade.”

A deep inhale and exhale later, Tori unlocked the door, stumbling backwards when Jade opened the door quite aggressively. Tori’s eyes widened when Jade locked the door behind her, turning to Tori with her arms crossed over her chest. “What’s going on with you?”

“ _What the hell_ do you mean?” Tori retorted, acting clueless.

“You’ve been all distant since everyone’s here. You’re drinking way more than usually, which means something’s bothering you, just like at the reunion. Tell me what’s going on, Tori.” 

Tori opened her mouth to say something, but closed it right after. She didn’t even know what to say without sounding stupid. No way was Jade going to accept any word that left her mouth. “I…I—I don’t know.”

Jade frowned at the answer, arms falling to her side. “Is it me?”  
  
“No,” Tori said, maybe a bit too fast. “ _God_ , no.”

The feeling of confusion bothered Jade even more when it came to Tori Vega, so she decided to take a step forward, in hope to get something out of the brunette. “Then just be honest with me.”

Tori’s breath got stuck in her throat when Jade stepped even closer. Their eyes met, and if Tori didn’t try to hold herself together, her legs would’ve already given out. It made her breathing fasten, troubled, through her mouth, as her eyes flickered towards the lips of the girl in front of her. Within a second, though, they were back up towards Jade’s eyes. She couldn’t be honest; it would ruin _everything_. “I—I can’t.”

Jade sighed in frustration and turned around. “ _Jesus Christ_ , Vega. Why the _fuck_ are you so confusing?”

And with that, Jade left the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her. Tori didn’t know how to process what just happened and just stood there, completely hopeless. Plan _shutting off thoughts and feelings_ , _really_ didn’t work out.

With all the ability of faking she had in her, she made her way back to her old friends. Talking was something she didn’t really need to do, since Cat was caught up in another one of her brother’s stories.

“One time, my brother went to the zoo.”

“On his own?” Beck asked.

Cat nodded. “Yes. He wanted to play with the gorillas.”

Andre switched glances with everyone, not knowing where this was going. “Isn’t that… _dangerous_?”

“Oh, yes!” Cat stated, before finishing the story. “He got through the fence and a gorilla grabbed him. He broke his arm.”

Tori wasn’t even aware that she was talking out loudly. “Maybe he should be put in some psychic ward.”

Everyone then turned to her with a judging look. She put her hands up in defense. “Don’t tell me you haven’t thought the same thing.”

“True,” Andre shrugged, before laughing. 

The mood became lighter as time passed. They dug up old stories from their time at Hollywood Arts, stories about Sikowitz and crazy things at Nozu. It felt like they were back to where they were three years ago, when everything was great. Not only that… Tori also saw how close Jade and Beck had gotten in these few hours; laughing, longing looks, touching. It hurt Tori. It felt hypocritical to feel hurt, when she had a girlfriend of her own, and shouldn’t be caring about what her friends did. 

As everyone was sitting in the living room, and Tori only had eyes for Jade, she watched as the raven-haired girl grabbed Beck’s arm and pulled him along with her. She knew what was happening, and she also knew that if she made the move to confirm it, it would break her heart into a million pieces. 

But any effort wasn’t even needed. Jade had dragged Beck to the kitchen, all in distance for Tori, and practically everyone else, to see. Without Jade giving her any attention, Tori had to watch as the girl pulled her ex-boyfriend in for a kiss. It wasn’t just a peck; it was heated, long and a sight Tori wished she could forget. Jade has managed to break her heart, probably without even knowing. All Tori tried when the two came back to the living room and sat down next to each other on the sofa, was to hold back the tears. It became even harder when Jade’s eyes met hers; it was a gaze that felt all too familiar.

Just like all those years at Hollywood Arts, Jade had looked at her with a hint of despise. And Tori knew all too well what that meant...  
  
_Jade West hated her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading. hopefully a new update soon. all love! x


	7. tell me what you want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey there. here's another (quite short) chapter. as always, thanks for reading. i appreciate you all <3

“I’m uh… I’m gonna get some air.” 

As soon as Jade and Beck had returned to the living room, Tori felt the need to get away from them, from everyone and everything. She paid no mind to anyone as she hastily made her way outside. 

Trying to catch her breath, she sat down on the wooden floor of the front porch, pulling her knees up to her chest as she watched a car drive by in the darkness. She knew she’d fucked up when she didn’t tell Jade the truth, but what was she supposed to do? Although now it seemed, that no matter what she would have decided to do, would have ended up in misery.

Once she felt the first tear leave its mark on her black jeans, Tori closed her eyes and shook her head, pissed at herself for feeling this way. “Get yourself together, Tori.”

Moments later though, she heard footsteps coming her way. Tori slowly opened one of her eyes, before opening the other, as Jade’s brother came into vision. The closer he got, the more the look on his face fell. He looked… _worried_.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked her, quickly moving to sit next to her on the front porch. 

Tori looked aside to meet his gaze, flashing him a small smile, which felt more like a weak attempt at trying to act like she was okay. “Just… getting some air.”

“Good one,” Roman chuckled lightly, before frowning back at Tori. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know if talking about your sister is a good thing to do…” Tori trailed off, looking away from Jade’s little brother.

He shrugged next to her. “I don’t mind. Jade being my sister doesn’t mean I can’t help you. I’m here for you.”

“ _My god_ ,” Tori sighed. “Why are you so much nicer than Jade?”

He shrugged once again, a grin on his face. “Don’t know. Maybe I’m just better at showing it. Don’t let this distract you from the fact that, deep down, Jade’s a softie.”

“True,” Tori agreed with a smile, before looking at the front door over her shoulder. “I don’t know if I can go back in there.”

“You don’t have to,” Roman said, looking at the door as well, before turning his gaze back towards Tori. “I can tell that you’ve been drinking. Want me to drive you home?”

Tori _really_ wanted to say yes, but then reminded herself that she told Jade she’d stay. How was she supposed to stay here, when every time she saw Jade, all she’d receive was a scowl? Did Jade even still want her here? “I don’t know, Roman. I told Jade I’d stay the night…”

“Oh…” Roman started, rubbing the back of his neck in hesitation. “I could tell Jade you’re not feeling well? And that you already went to bed?” When Tori didn’t say anything, he continued. “I assume this is all about my sister, so...”

“How did you know?” she said, flashing him a sad smile, before turning to look at the road again. “I guess it sounds like a plan.”

“Good.” Roman patted her shoulder and stood up, opening the door right after. He pointed at the stairs as they stood in the hallway, “Second door on the left is the guest room. I'll talk to Jade.”

“Thank you, Roman. Really I—”

“Don’t worry about it.” He waved it off. “Go get some sleep, okay?”

Tori once again nodded at the words, before quickly making her way upstairs as the faint sounds of her friends’ laughing downstairs faded away.

With an exhausting sigh, Tori pushed the door open and was met with the guest room. A double bed, nightstands, wardrobe and a seat were all. Simple, yet enough. 

After closing the dark curtains, Tori crashed down on the bed. Being alone wasn’t what she preferred at all, it made her overthink literally _everything_. What was she supposed to say when she’d come face to face with Jade again? Would Jade be pissed at her? Hate her? _God_ , why did everything have to be so damn _confusing_.

Trying to shake off her thoughts, Tori checked her phone, opening the last message she received from Amber earlier that night.

**Amber (10:49 PM):** _hey baby. everything is fine here, it’s great to spend time with my parents. how are you? what are you up to? can’t wait to see you soon. i miss you._

She read the text over and over again. None of the times did it make her feel anything, not even a smile, or that warm feeling in her chest she'd felt all those weeks ago. 

Tori knew all too well it had to do with the girl downstairs, but made herself think it was all because she hated commitment. _Yes_ , that’s what it was. Nothing more. _  
  
Who are you fooling, Tori?  
_

It meant that she couldn’t lead Amber on; she deserved way better than Tori. It also meant she had to either give into her feelings for Jade, or push them away so deep, that she’d forget all about her. Something which would both be impossible. Jade was all over Beck now, and Tori couldn’t ever forget about Jade. In conclusion: Tori was _fucked_.

A soft knock on the door made her come back to reality. She immediately got up from the bed and hurried towards the door. Opening it, she saw Roman with a shirt in his one hand, and a toothbrush in the other. 

“I figured sleeping in those clothes won’t be comfortable, so here’s one of my shirts.” He handed the shirt to Tori, followed by the toothbrush. “There you go, all fresh. Jade bought the story, by the way. It’s all fine.” _  
_

Tori exhaled in relief, clenching onto the shirt and locking eyes with Jade's younger brother. “I don’t know what else to say than thank you.”

He flashed her a genuine smile. “It’s no problem. Jade should keep you close, you’re a good person. And oh yeah, bathroom’s on the other side. Goodnight, Tori.”

“Goodnight, Roman.” 

With that, she was left all alone again. She quickly entered the bathroom, brushing her teeth and splashing some water into her face, hoping it would put some sense into her.

It didn’t.

With one last look in the mirror, Tori turned off the lights and made her way back to the guest room. After she managed to put on Roman’s shirt, which was way too big, she crawled into bed and put the covers up as far as possible.

Maybe a good night of sleep would made her forget about everything. But before she could even close her eyes, another knock on the door sounded.

Tori groaned, deciding to just stay in bed. “Come in.”

In the darkness, Tori couldn’t make out who opened the door, but once the lights were on and she came face to face with Jade West, she found herself standing beside the bed in a blink. _“Jade?”_

The fact that Jade was the one standing there, confused Tori all the more. The green-eyed girl ran a hand through her hair, before making eye contact with Tori. “Just stopped by to ask if you’re okay. So… are you okay?”

The frown on Tori’s face turned into a hint of a smile. Jade still cared. Or so it seemed. “Yeah, I’m fine. Where are the others?”

“Just went home.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Jade said, not moving from her spot. _“Oh.”_

Silence fell over them, until Jade looked at Tori with a cocked eyebrow. “Are you wearing one of my brother’s shirts, Vega?”

Tori looked down, remembering that was exactly what it was. “Uh, yeah?”

Jade’s lips formed themselves into an amusing smile. “He likes you, you know? He keeps on telling me that you’re a _good influence_ on me, that I’m _all happy_ or whatever bullshit he’s going on about.”

Tori couldn’t help from firing a question back at the words. “And… do you agree?”

“I don’t know,” Jade spoke with honesty, before slowly taking a few steps forward. “Do _you_?” _  
_

Tori could feel a lump forming in her throat, with each step Jade came closer. It felt like their encounter in the bathroom from a few hours ago, and Tori didn’t like where it was going. When Jade came too close, Tori stopped her with a hand, looking up to meet the dark-haired girl’s eyes. “What are you doing, Jade?”

“What do you _think_ I’m doing?”

“You kissed Beck.”

“And you have a girlfriend, Vega.”

Tori closed her eyes at the words and shook her head, turning away from Jade in the process. _This wasn’t okay_. She threw her hands up, once again looking at Jade. “I’m done playing this game, okay? Just tell me what you want. Stop being so confusing for once, _please_.”

“Confusing? _Me_?” Jade shot back, raising her voice. “You’re the one who hasn’t been honest, Tori. You make me feel _crazy_.”

“Then why did you kiss Beck?” Tori asked her sternly. 

“Same reason why you have a girlfriend, who you, _if I may add_ , don’t feel anything for.”

Tori looked at her wide-eyed. “You don’t know what—”

“You know what, Vega?” Jade scoffed at her, turning around towards the door. “I’m done with this.”

“Jade…”

Tori felt her breath becoming heavy as she watched Jade’s hand reach for the doorknob.

“Jade, _please_.”

When Jade didn’t make any movement of stopping, Tori hurried towards the door, throwing herself in front of it. All she saw was Jade’s confused gaze staring right back at her. “What the hell, Vega?!”

Tori wanted to tell her, she wanted nothing more. But something held her back, something made her lie once again. “Look, I don’t know what you’re implying…” Tori felt herself almost giving out underneath the stare of those green eyes, but managed to speak the words that would hurt Jade even more. “But I have a girlfriend, and I’m happy with her. Whatever it is you’re feeling, I don’t feel the same way.”

Jade looked like she’d seen a ghost, as if the world had just fallen apart. She took a few steps backwards, the hurt visible all over her face, before that tough mask made its way back and she locked eyes with the brunette in front of her. Tori was convinced she’d _really_ done it this time. 

Tori didn’t even know what was happening as she watched Jade come closer, not until their faces were only a few inches apart, and her breath got stuck in her throat. Not until she did everything in her power to not glance down at the lips of the girl in front of her, but keep their eyes locked instead. 

It became even harder when she felt Jade’s fingers trace her arm, all the way down to her hand. Their foreheads touched and they both felt their eyes close. Jade breathed out, “Don’t you feel _anything_?”

When Tori couldn’t get herself to say anything, Jade took it one step further and grazed her lips over Tori’s skin. Tori wanted to give in _so_ bad, but she wouldn’t let herself. Instead, she pushed Jade away from her.

“Stop.”

The sound of Jade’s hurt laugh made Tori’s heart drop to her stomach. She couldn’t get herself to face Jade again as she heard the green-eyed girl speak up. “I know enough now.”

Tori waited for the door to slam shut, and moments later it did. She dragged herself towards the bed and sat down, putting a hand over her mouth to refrain herself from sobbing too loudly. Her thoughts from a few hours ago seemed to be right; _Jade West now hated her, as she was always meant to do._

And it was her own stupid fault. _Tori Vega and her fucked up decisions._

She didn’t sleep a wink that night, afraid of what the day would bring. One thing was sure, she had to get away from here as soon as possible, and not ever return again.


End file.
